Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 4 Smart Money Picks

Here, in picture form, is how The Professor feels about his performance so far in the 2014 edition of Pick ‘em Corner:

Now, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor’s Smart Money Picks, brought to you by Tuttle’s Eat Bowl Play. Bet Smart®

Auburn -9 KANSAS STATE

KSU’s Willie the Wildcat is arguably the worst excuse for a mascot in major college sports with the Cornerman’s Nittany Lion vying for runner-up honors. War Eagle.

Texas A&M -33 SMU

Texas A&M QB Kenny Trill’s family is trying to trademark the “Kenny Trill” nickname. SMU is horrible. Go Aggies.

EAST CAROLINA -2 North Carolina

East Carolina is not a state. North Carolina is a state. This is The Professor’s weekly lecture on geography. Go Heels.

ALABAMA -15 Florida

Elephants are fun to look at. Alligators are scary to look at. I’ll take fun over scary. Roll Tide Turkey.

BYU -14 Virginia

I find Virginia’s logo and color palette pleasing to the eye. Go Hoos.

LSU -10 Mississippi State

I have a friend who ran track at Mississippi State. Or was it Ole Miss? I forget. I have no such connection to LSU. Go Bulldogs.

Oklahoma -7 WEST VIRGINIA

Someday I would like to go for a ride on the Boomer Schooner. Ohhhhhhhhh-klahoma!

FLORIDA STATE -20 Clemson

I’m resurrecting the Tim Brewster Theorem for this week. Go Tigers.

Oregon -24 WASHINGTON STATE

It’s The Professor’s Points-A-Plenty Game of the Week, brought to you by Breezy Point Resort. Wazzu lost to Rutgers. I rest my case. Go Ducks.

NORTHWESTERN –21.5 Western Illinois

Leathernecks is a wonderful choice for a nickname. Wildcats is not. Go Leathernecks.

MICHIGAN STATE -46 Eastern Michigan

Eastern Michigan lost 65-0 to a mediocre Florida team. Michigan State is not mediocre. Go Sparty.

PITTSBURGH -7 Iowa

DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It’s The Professor’s Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University! It worked last week. Also, Schadenfreude. Go Panthers.

WISCONSIN -27 Bowling Green

I do not care for the intercollegiate athletic teams from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Go Falcons.

PURDUE –17.5 Southern Illinois

It’s the Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game (DAOtLotTTIACATG?G), brought to you by Casa de Autos. [Game analysis intentionally left blank]

Maryland -1 SYRACUSE

I continue to loathe the East Coast Biasification of B1G and Pick ‘em Corner. I hope the Carrier Dome loses power and this game is cancelled.

Rutgers -6 NAVY

Hellloooo letdown for R U READY. Anchors Aweigh.

MICHIGAN -5 Utah

Joel Maturi hires Tim Brewster over Charlie Strong. Survey says … -206

Joel Maturi hires Tim Brewster over Brady Hoke. Survey says … +6

Joel Maturi hires Tim Brewster. Net result … -200

Go Utes.

ILLINOIS -14 Texas State

Welcome back, Tim Beckman Axiom. I missed you. Go Bobcats.

PENN STATE -27 UMass

Sure, why not. Go Nits.

MINNESOTA –9 San Jose State

Full disclosure: I’m picking the Gophers to cover in every game this season because I don’t believe in cheering against my team for the sole purpose of getting a win in the Pick ‘em Corner standings. Go Gophs.

MISSOURI -14 Indiana

Indiana doesn’t have a mascot. I don’t trust teams that don’t have mascots. Go Tigers.

NEBRASKA -7 Miami (Fla.)

Ameer Abdullah is fun to say. Try it. Ameer Abdullah. Ameer Abdullah. Ameer Abdullah. Go Huskers.

2014 Pick ‘em Corner Standings (locks in parentheses) 

1. Mr. Money - 40-25-1 (2-1) – 44 pts

2. C-Noth – 36-29-1 (2-1) – 40 pts

2. Mrs. Money – 38-27-1 (1-2) – 40 pts

4. The Host – 32-33-1 (3-0) – 38 pts

4. Lockrem’s Locks – 34-31-1 (1-1) – 38 pts

6. The Cornerman – 35-30-1 (1-2) – 37 pts

7. Wick to Click –33-32-1 (1-2) – 35 pts

8. The Veteran – 31-34-1 (1-2) – 33 pts

9. Larry Traversie – 30-35-1 (1-2) – 32 pts

10. KCKCKCK – 29-36-1 (1-1) – 31 pts

11. Big Game Bob – 26-37-1 (2-0) – 30 pts

11. Your Picks Ain’t Schmidt - 28-37-1 (1-2) - 30 pts

13. Steve Stellar – 29-36-1 (2-1) – 30 pts

14. The Professor – 27-38-1 (1-2) – 29 pts

15. Strickly Cash – 26-39-1 (1-2) – 28 pts

16. Money Traen – 11-13 (0-0) – 13 pts

17. The Line Adjuster – 0-0 (0-0) – 0 pts

17. Foreman’s Forecast – 0-0 (0-0) – 0 pts

17. auto-MATT-ic – 0-0 (0-0) – 0 pts

The Professor in 2014 Pick 'Em Corner

Overall record: 27-38-1 (.416)

Statistically-Proven Locks: 1-2 (.333)

Games involving Big Ten teams: 16-21 (.432)

Games not involving Big Ten teams: 11-17-1 (.397)

Minnesota games: 0-3 (.000)

Schadenfreude Games (Wisconsin, Iowa, Notre Dame): 6-2 (.750)

Service Academy Games: 1-2 (.333)

Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Games: 1-2 (.333)

Roll Tide Turkey Games: 0-2-1 (.167)

Tim Beckman Axiom Games: 1-2 (.333)

Professor’s Point-A-Plenty Games: 1-1 (.500)