Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Bowl Season Smart Money Picks

 You’re looking LIVE at the 2012 Pick ‘Em Corner Regular Season Co-Champion (with the Cornerman)! Once again, The Professor has proven that transparency and accountability will pay dividends in the college football prognostication business. Let this be a lesson to those of my fellow panelists who make their picks in relative anonymity.

Well, Professor’s Pupils, it alllllllll comes down to this – The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year (TMWTOTY). The time when wholly mediocre 6-6 teams can call their season a success because they got a handful of extra practices, followed by a meaningless game in an exotic location like Detroit, Albuquerque or El Paso.

Adding to the intrigue of TMWTOTY are the tight standings of Pick ‘Em Corner. The Professor is back atop the standings, thanks to a plucky effort from his beloved Army squad (and perhaps a favorable spread by Steve Stellar, aka The New Host). It will certainly be an entertaining bowl season as The Professor fights off ne’er-do-wells Cornerman, Lockrem’s Locks and KCKCKCK.

Without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

New Mexico Bowl  (Albuquerque, N.M.)

Arizona -10 Nevada

KA’DEEM! I know it sounds like an exclamation you might hear on the old Batman series, but it’s actually the name of the nation’s second-ranked rusher – Ka’Deem Carey. Expect KA’DEEM! to run roughshod over the No. 111 rushing defense. Also, Pac-12 > whatever conference Nevada is in. KA’DEEM!

Idaho Potato Bowl  (Boise, Idaho)

Utah State -10 Toledo

When you have a chance to take a ranked team playing a MAC team that’s last win over a team with a winning record came on Oct. 20, you take ‘em. Translation: Pick Utah State.

Poinsetta Bowl (San Diego, Calif.)

BYU -2.5 San Diego State

Beware the poinsettia! It’s poisonous to dogs! Also, beware the Aztecs who are riding a seven-game winning streak and playing in their hometown.

Beef O’Bradys Bowl (St. Petersburg, Fla.)

Central Florida -7 Ball State

The Andy Seeley Factor trumps The Veteran’s “Always Take the Florida Team When You Don’t Have Any Other Idea Who To Pick” Theory.

New Orleans Bowl (New Orleans, La.)

Louisiana Lafayette -6 East Carolina

The Professor’s research has uncovered that each team here has faced a top 10 team during  the season. ECU got blown out 48-10 to South Carolina, while ULL lost 27-20 to Florida on a last-second blocked punt. Also, playing in Louisiana has to count for something, I guess.

Las Vegas Bowl (Las Vegas, Nev.)

Boise State -5 Washington

Boise State may very well win this game, but it won’t be because of an offense we’ve come to expect from the Smurf Turfers. Expect a close one here with Boise State’s defense keeping it close against a Husky team that plays its best against ranked foes.

Hawai’i Bowl (Honolulu, Hawai’i)

Fresno State -12 SMU

June Jones flat-out knows how to win in Hawai’i.

Little Caesars Pizza Bowl (Detroit, Mich.)

Western Kentucky -5 Central Michigan

Expect a packed Ford Field full of Chippewa fans. OK, maybe not. But playing in their home state has to count for something. Plus, when you’re sent to freaking Detroit for a bowl game, your motivation to just mail it in so you can get back home must be high.

Military Bowl (Washington, D.C.)

San Jose State -7 Bowling Green

The Professor is disappointed the Military Bowl does not include a military academy. As for this match-up, I’ll take MACtion for $500, Alex.

Belk Bowl (Charlotte, N.C.)

Cincinnati -7 Duke

Duke in a bowl game is like Alabama-Huntsville in the NCAA hockey tournament. It may happen, but it just feels wrong. Thus, my pick.

Holiday Bowl (San Diego, Calif.)

Baylor -Pick Em- UCLA

I’m just picking the team I’d rather see win here and I’m still upset with Baylor for playing a part in giving us Alabama-Notre Dame in the BCS title game. Go Bruins!

Independence Bowl (Shreveport, La.)

Louisiana Monroe -7 Ohio

This is ULM’s first bowl game. So they have that going for them … which is nice. Also, as mentioned above, playing in Louisiana has to count for something, I guess.

Russell Athletic Bowl (Orlando, Fla.)

Virginia Tech -2.5 Rutgers

[Pick made out of disgust for Jim Delany adding East Coast Bias stalwart State University of New Jersey to the Midwest-centric Big Ten]

Meineke Car Care Bowl (Houston, Texas)

Texas Tech -13 Minnesota

The Professor is 4-8 in Gopher games this season, so beware this pick. That being said, the majority of the time, I picked my alma mater out of sheer hope and the desire to cheer for both a Minnesota win and cover. But I’m tied with the Cornerman, so heart goes out the window. This is a terrible match-up for the Maroon and Gold, even with Tommy Tuberville abandoning his squad in one of the scummiest moves by a departing coach in recent memory (he left a recruit mid-dinner to accept the Cincy job and never came back). With both teams owning mediocre defenses, this game will come down to who has the more efficient offense. And there’s the rub: The Gophers can’t score, while the Red Raiders can. I almost locked this in, but that’s just too much to bear for this Goldy fan.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl (Fort Worth, Texas)

Air Force -1 Rice

My fellow panelists will just pick Rice in the futile effort to make up points on The Professor. And for the umpteenth time this season, it won’t work.

New Era Pinstripe Bowl (Bronx, N.Y.)

West Virginia -4 Syracuse

This game will not be kind to the hearts of degenerate gamblers. Points aplenty. Absent defenses. The pick comes down to one simple thing. Minnesota beat Syracuse.

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl (San Francisco, Calif.)

Arizona State -14.5 Navy

Remember what I said about my fellow panelists making up points in these service academy games? Yeah, it might hold true here. Still, go Navy.

Alamo Bowl (San Antonio, Texas)

Oregon State -2 Texas

The Professor is suffering from a severe case of Beaver Fever. In unrelated news, I like Oregon State in this game.

Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl (Phoenix, Ariz.)

TCU -2.5 Michigan State

I really want to pick Sparty in this one, thinking Michigan State will finally play up to their potential, but I did that far too many times and got burned this year. That, and I’ll always hold a special place in my heart for TCU, thanks to them beating Bucky in the Rose Bowl last year.

Music City Bowl (Nashville, Tenn.)

Vanderbilt -6.5 NC State

LP Field will be rocking for the hometown Commodores. Also, allow The Professor to wholeheartedly recommend the beautiful Gaylord Opryland Hotel.

Sun Bowl (El Paso, Texas)

USC -10 Georgia Tech

Hoo boy, do I want to take the Ramblin’ Wreck here, but I just can’t. Monte Kiffin will have the USC defense fully prepared for Tech’s option offense, so that pretty much eliminates the ‘Jackets only trump card. Plus, this game is like a mini audition for the NFL Draft for USC QB Matt Barkley. Expect him to torch the bad Tech passing D in part to impress the scouts and improve his draft position. In fact, DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week (part I), brought to you by National American University!

Liberty Bowl (Memphis. Tenn.)

Tulsa –Pick Em- Iowa State

In a battle of weather phenomena, I’ll take the Cyclones over the Golden Hurricane. Said Cyclones won an earlier-season match-up with Tulsa, so why pick against them here? One reason: Cyclones are unpredictable. Still, gotta go with The Professor’s Papa’s alma mater.

Chick-Fil-A (Atlanta, Ga.)

LSU -3.5 Clemson

Disclaimer: I stole this factoid from SI.com’s Stewart Mandel - Les Miles is 5-2 in bowls at LSU, with an average margin of victory of 26 points. Thanks, Stew.

Heart of Dallas Bowl (Dallas, Texas)

Oklahoma State -16.5 Purdue

Helllllooooo mismatch. DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week (part II), brought to you by National American University!

Gator Bowl (Jacksonville, Fla.)

Mississippi State -2.5 Northwestern

It’s a sad state of affairs when Northwestern may be the lone team in the conference to actually win a bowl game this season. Also, don’t forget the Tim Brewster Theorem.

Outback Bowl (Tampa Bay, Fla.)

South Carolina -5 Michigan

I want to Michigan here, I really do. But a 10-2 SEC team is certainly more than five points better than an 8-4 B1G team.

Capital One Bowl (Orlando, Fla.)

Georgia -10 Nebraska

I’m pretty sure Nebraska forgot how to play football in the B1G title game last month, so Georgia is smelling blood in the water after their near-miss in the national semifinal vs. Bama. Expect the Dogs to take out their frustration on the Huskers.

Rose Bowl  (Pasadena, Calif.)

Stanford -6.5 Wisconsin

No, Bucky isn’t an iota more likable after saying sayonara to Bert Bielema. Not a bit. Especially not when egomaniac Barry Alvarez is still around, inserting himself onto the sidelines and into the conversation as a replacement for the new Badger head coach. If the Big Ten is winless come New Year’s Day – and let’s face it, it’s entirely realistic to believe it will be – do not count The Professor as hoping the B1G can save face in the Granddaddy of Them All. Go Cardinal! Die in a fire, Bucky!

Orange Bowl (Miami Gardens, Fla.)

Florida State -12.5 Northern Illinois

Really want to make the “HUSKY WOMEN” chant here, but I just can’t. Instead, it’s “Ohhhhhhh, oh, oh-oh-oh! Ohhhhhhh, oh, oh-oh-oh!”

Sugar Bowl (New Orleans, La.)

Florida -13 Louisville

Holy mismatch, Batman! Helllllooooo mismatch. DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week (part III), brought to you by National American University!

Fiesta Bowl (Glendale, Ariz.)

Oregon -9.5 Kansas State

In the spirit of the Mighty Ducks movies, of which the esteemed publication Let's Play Hockey was a part: Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack!

Cotton Bowl (Arlington, Texas)

Texas A&M -4.5 Oklahoma

Why are two Big 12 teams playing in the same bowl? Oh. Wait. Never mind.

BBVA Compass Bowl (Birmingham, Ala.)

Ole Miss -3.5 Pitt

I’m still upset with Pitt for blowing their chance for a win in South Bend, thereby playing a part in giving us Alabama-Notre Dame in the BCS title game. Go Rebels!

GoDaddy.com Bowl (Mobile, Ala.)

Arkansas State -3.5 Kent State

It’s The Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game, brought to you by RO*TEL! It’s such a joke that this godawful game is being played on Jan. 6, one day before the BCS title game.

BCS National Championship (Miami Gardens, Fla.)

Alabama -10 Notre Dame

The luck of the Irish finally runs out. ESS! EEE! SEE!

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

2012 Pick ‘Em Corner Standings (locks in parentheses)

1. The Professor – 153-123-2 (10-4) – 173 pts

1. The Cornerman – 151-125-2 (11-3) – 173 pts

3. Lockrem’s Locks – 149-125-2 (8-5-1) - 165 pts

4. KCKCKCK – 148-128-2 (8-6) – 164 pts

5. Steve Stellar – 144-132-2 (7-7) – 158 pts

6. The Host – 141-135-2 (6-8) – 153 pts

7. Jeff Leach – 142-132-2 (4-6) – 150 pts

8. C-Noth – 136-140-2 (6-7) – 148 pts

9. Wick to Click – 126-150-2 (7-6) – 140 pts

10. Special G – 131-125-2 (4-9) – 139 pts

11. Mrs. Money –122-132-2 (6-6) – 134 pts

12. Strickly Cash – 110-128 (4-8) – 118 pts

13. The Veteran – 111-123-2 (3-9) – 117 pts

14. Money Traen – 95-103-2 (4-6) – 103 pts

15. LFK – 6-12 (no lock ) - 6 pts

16. autoMATTic – 0-0 (0-0) - 0 pts

The Professor in 2012 Pick 'Em Corner

Overall record: 153-123-2 (.554)

Statistically-Proven Locks: 10-4 (.714)

Games involving Big Ten teams: 49-38 (.563)

Games not involving Big Ten teams: 103-85-2 (.547)

Minnesota games: 4-8 (.333)

Schadenfreude Games (Wisconsin, Iowa, Notre Dame): 20-17 (.541)

Service Academy Games: 5-11 (.313)

Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Games: 6-8 (.429)

Roll Tide Turkey Games: 6-5 (.545)

Tim Brewster Theorem Games: 3-3 (.500)