Last week, I said this in my Northwestern vs. Purdue pick analysis: "It's time for The Professor is Just Picking This Way Because, On the Off Chance He Gets to Watch This Game, He'd Like to Cheer for Northwestern Instead of Purdue. For the record, if The Professor's Smart Money Picks continue producing medicore results, I just may pick every game this way for the rest of the season." As expected, it was another mediocre week for The Professor with a 7-7-1 record, including a winning lock.
Now, staying true to my word, I'd like to announce that for each game this week, I'll be picking the team that I want to win and/or cover. I used this strategy in two games last week and went 0-2, so I can't do much worse. If this tactic works this week, I'll stick to it for week 8. If not, it's back to the postulates, theorems and calls to all of The Professor's many contacts in the college football world.
So, without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, (The Professor is Just Picking This Way Because, On the Off Chance He Gets to Watch This Game, He'd Like to Cheer for Team X Instead of Team Y edition), brought to you by the City of Chanhassen.
INDIANA -10.5 Arkansas State
How can you cheer against Indiana? What's there to hate? On the same token, how can you cheer for Arkansas State? Sure, they're not hateable, but they're also completely and utterly irrelevant. In a battle of reative irrelevancy, The Professor likes the Hoosiers.
#11 MICHIGAN ST. -7 Illinois
I don't dislike Illinois and I don't really like Michigan State, but the Spartans have grown on me over the season with the Dantonio heart angle, their fun-to-watch offense and their back-to-back wins over Bucky and Michigan. Meanwhile, there's the Ron Zook Postulate and the fact that Tim Brewster played at Illinois. Go Sparty.
Pittsburgh -1 SYRACUSE
In a tight battle, but my love of the 'stache beats my love of Otto the Orange. Plus, Syracuse plays in the godforsaken Carrier Dome - a facility that, ironically, does not have air conditioning despite being named for an HVAC manufacturer, much like Mankato State's Midwest Wireless Civic Center and its absence of wireless internet.
PURDUE -5 Minnesota
What, you ask, is The Professor doing picking against his beloved Gophers? What would make him put his allegiance behind a pedestrian Purdue squad? Simple, my friends. This report from 1500 ESPN. Now, The Professor knows that it is inevitable that the Tim Brewster era is essentially over, win or not this weekend. But, from where I sit, the sooner Dinkytown and Stadium Village (now with stadium!) rids itself of the used car salesman masquerading as Big Ten football coach, the better. I know many will argue that canning a coach at midseason can do more harm than good to a program; that it sends a message of instability to all possible replacements. Some will argue that recruiting will be hurt and that the school runs the risk of the players mailing in the rest of the season after they're saddled with a lame duck or interim coach. All good points. My take: I DON'T CARE. Nothing would make me happier as a Gopher fan than to see Brewster go. Unless I'm suffering from a severe case of revisionist history, I was never a fan of Brewster and his braggadocio. From the leak of his name as Glen Mason's successor, to his first press conference, to every time he opened his mouth after being hired, to his 1-11 2007 season, to his 15-29 overall record, to his 6-20 Big Ten mark, to his 0-9 mark in rivalry games, to his "light years" quote and everything in between, The Professor has wanted Tim Brewster gone. I can't believe an athletic director of a Big Ten institution bought into the crap Brewster was selling. It reminds me of something Gopher wrestling coach J Robinson once told me: "You can't put perfume in a bucket of manure and expect me to buy it." And that just about sums up the Tim Brewster era. Enjoy West Lafayette, Tim. And while you're there, maybe you can get your old job back at Central Catholic High School.
RUTGERS -7 Army (Service GOW)
On, brave old Army team!
On to the fray.
Fight on to victory
For that's the fearless Army way.
NOTRE DAME -24 Western Michigan
The Professor is an avowed Notre Dame hater, so this is a real easy pick this week. Plus, I've been to Grand Rapids, Mich. - the home of WMU - and thought it was a nice town. Reason enough, I say.
#14 Iowa -3 #24 MICHIGAN
Who hates Iowa? The Professor hates Iowa. (Note: The Professor also hates Michigan, just not as much as Iowa...thus the pick.)
#4 NEBRASKA -9.5 Texas
DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University! Methinks the Huskers will be playing a tad angry here what with the kick-to-the-nuts result of last year's Big 12 title game and the preferential treatment the Horns have received over the years in the conference. This is likely Nebraska's last chance to send a giant eff-you to Texas and the powers-that-be in the Big 12 conference office as the Big Red Machine moves onto the Big 10+2, and I think they'll do just that.
#7 AUBURN -3.5 #13 Arkansas
It's a heckuva lot more fun to say, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PIG! SOOIE!" than it is to say "War Eagle!"
#12 South Carolina -4.5 KENTUCKY
By no means am I pulling for South Carolina because I'm a fan of the Gamecocks or Steve Spurrier. I'd just like to see a team win the SEC this season that doesn't involve Nick Saban.
#1 Ohio State -3.5 #16 WISCONSIN
Easy, easy pick for The Professor here. There's the schadenfreude angle. The "I want to see a Big Ten team win it all this season" angle. The "What has Wisco done this season to show that they're capable of upsetting the vaunted Buckeyes?" angle. And that hateable "Teach Me How To Bucky" video that surfaced on the interwebs angle (I urge you not to watch this. Instead, check out the series of "Goldy Did It!" YouTube videos). Go Bucks.
#3 Boise State -40.5 SAN JOSE STATE
Sure, I hate the Broncos' Smurf Turf and I love SJSU's old media guide covers, but this game is in San Jose and the Spartans' media guide cover looks like everyone else's now. That's a push, but I'm 3-1 when picking Boise State this year and always love a good rout.
#8 ALABAMA -20.5 Mississippi (RTT GOW)
Under normal circumstances, I love to cheer against the Tide and their hateable head coach, but Ole Miss just chose a black bear for their mascot and that just makes no sense to me. Roll! Tide! Turkey!
WASHINGTON -2 Oregon State
It's The Host's Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game.
#21 Nevada -6.5 HAWAII
I've never been to Hawaii and that makes me sad and angry. I have been to Nevada and that makes me a person who has been to Nevada. And that's the rationale I'm using for this pick.
Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.
2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Total Points
1. The Cornerman 45-45-3 (57 pts.)
2. KCKCKCK 50-40-3 (56)
3. The Veteran 47-43-3 (55)
4. Special G 50-40-3 (54)
5. The Host 45-45-3 (53)
6. Steve Stellar 50-40-3 (52)
7. The Professor 47-43-3 (51)
8. Strickly Cash 41-49-3 (45)
9. Foreman's Forecast 40-50-3 (44)
10. Money Traen 35-40-3 (37)
11. Miss Money 28-48-1 (32)
12. C-Noth 22-39-2 (26)
13. Vose 24-22-2 (24)
14. autoMATTic 12-17-1 (12)
15. Lockrem's Locks 9-6-0 (9)
2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Points Per Week (Locks)
1. The Cornerman 9.5 (6-0)
2. KCKCKCK 9.3 (3-3)
3. The Veteran 9.1 (4-2)
4. Special G 9.0 (2-4)
4. Lockrem's Locks 9.0 (0-1)
6. The Host 8.8 (4-2)
7. Steve Stellar 8.6 (1-5)
8. The Professor 8.5 (2-4)
9. Vose 8.0 (0-3)
10. Strickly Cash 7.5 (2-4)
11. Money Traen 7.4 (1-4)
12. Foreman's Forecast 7.3 (2-4)
13. C-Noth 6.5 (2-2)
14. Miss Money 6.4 (2-3)
15. autoMATTic 6.0 (0-2)
Not a lot of time for The Professor this week what with actual work to do, along with getting ready for Special K's 3rd birthday tomorrow. With that in mind, it's lightning round week for The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by the City of Chanhassen.
Miami -15 VIRGINIA
