Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 2 Smart Money Picks

Class is very much back in session. As my students are well-aware now, The Professor's Smart Money Picks 101 is the go-to class for all of your college football gambling needs. If you attended the lecture last week, you know The Professor is atop the Pick 'em Corner standings (see below) with a 13-5 record. In addition, The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week was money in the bank for my students.

Kudos go to fellow panelist KCKCKCK for matching The Professor’s 13-5 mark in week 1. That performance is a mirage. KCKCKCK is no Professor. He doesn’t meticulously break down the numbers inside the numbers for each game. He doesn’t enlist a small army of teaching assistants and interns to break down the matchups and storylines. He doesn’t waste millions of research grant dollars each year to accurately predict college football games. No, KCKCKCK turns to BTN personalities Glen Mason and Gerry DiNardo who reluctantly give KCKCKCK about 15 minutes of courtesy conversation each week. And then KCKCKCK thinks he’s an expert when really he’s just a low-level production assistant charged with bringing Dave Revsine his Earl Gray tea every morning.

I’d waste more time explaining why The Professor is the Pick ‘em Corner panelist to listen to, but the numbers speak for themselves Pick 'Em Corner (two-time Big Ten Regular Season Handicapping Champion, 13-5 record last week).

Without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by the City of Chanhassen.


Iowa -6.5 *IOWA STATE
Am I the only one that thought the redesigned Cy-Hawk trophy was a perfect metaphor for what everyone thinks of when someone mentions Iowa? Corn. White people in overalls. Is there anything else in Iowa? It’s a shame this trophy has been shelved before it even made it to an Iowa-Iowa State game. The Professor loves to pick against the Hawkeyes and loves to pick the Cyclones, but ISU can’t stop the run and can’t throw the ball. If the Cyclones struggled to get past Northern Iowa in front of the fourth-largest crowd in Iowa State history, what makes anyone think ISU can hang within a touchdown of the much-superior Hawkeyes? They can’t.

*MICHIGAN STATE -32 Florida Atlantic
Whenever you have a chance to pick a Howard Schnellenberger-coached team, you do it. Plus, the Owls only lost by 13 points to an arguably better Spartan team last year in East Lansing. There’s no reason to think Sparty is 19 points better this season. Go Owls.

*OHIO STATE -18 Toledo
The Professor is not immune from learning lessons and I learned mine last week by picking against the Buckeyes in a meaningless nonconference game against an in-state opponent.

*WISCONSIN -20.5 Oregon State
I’m not proud of this pick, especially considering I also picked the hated Hawkeyes this week, but Oregon State lost in overtime to something called Sacramento State last week … at home. Bucky may be excused from taking the Beavers lightly, but Bret Bielema absolutely loves running up the score any chance he gets.

*ILLINOIS -21 South Dakota State
Touchdown Jackrabbits! One touchdown. That’s it.

*NORTHWESTERN -23 Eastern Illinois
In the hope of gaining some separation from KCKCKCK (who we all know is taking the ‘Cats), I like the Panthers.

*MINNESOTA -20 New Mexico State
My glass is full of Jerry Kill-aid and it tastes so good.

Alabama -10 *PENN STATE
The Bama defense is too darn good and the Nittany Lions QB leave much to be desired. Sounds like 10 or more points to me. Heck, I think the Tide D just might out-score Penn State’s offense. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, LFK and Cornerman. ROLL! TIDE! TURKEY!

Purdue -2 *RICE
Stay far, far away from this game if you know what’s good for you. Rice hung tough for a while with Texas, while Purdue looked absolutely dreadful against Middle Tennessee. So why am I taking the Boilers? I don’t know. I really don’t.

*NEBRASKA -27.5 Fresno State
Fresno State has a history as a giant killer, so they have that going for them … which is nice. The only giant they’ll be killing this week is the point spread. Nebraska 34, Fresno State 13.

Virginia -7 *INDIANA
You don’t get bullied by Ball State and hope to stay within a touchdown of a BCS school the following week. Cellar, meet Indiana. Indiana, meet cellar.

Notre Dame -3 *MICHIGAN
It’s The Professor’s Schadenfreude Game of the Week, presented by Gasthof Zur Gemutlichkeit. Nothing explains The Professor's feelings about schools like Wisconsin, Iowa and Notre Dame better then schadenfreude. Schadenfreude also would very much apply to a Michigan loss … just not in this game. I’m actually hoping for a rare case double schadenfreude in this tilt. That is, I hope both teams are involved in a horrible bus accident prior to the game.

San Diego State -9.5 *ARMY
It’s The Professor's Service Academy Game of the Week (part I), brought to you by Armed Forces Network. You know the drill:

The Army team's the pride and dream
Of every heart in gray,
The Army line you'll ever find
A terror in the fray;
And when the team is fighting
For the Black and Gray and Gold,
We're always near with song and cheer
And this is the tale we're told:
The Army team ...
(Band accompaniment)
(Whistle)
On, brave old Army team,
On to the fray;
Fight on to victory,
For that's the fearless Army way.

Mississipppi State -6.5 *AUBURN
Auburn looked positively awful in eking out a win over Utah State, not Utah, Utah freakin’ State. Meanwhile, Mississippi State ran roughshod over Memphis. In a battle between the two programs that entered the Cecil/Cam Newton Sweepstakes, the loser of that contest wins this one.

Stanford -20 *DUKE
It’s the Pocket Protector Bowl! It’s Rich Nerds vs. Rich, Arrogant A**holes! It’s Brains vs., well, Brains! It’s a Stanford rout. In fact … DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University!

*ARIZONA STATE -7.5 Missouri
Lightning round, part 1.

Virginia Tech -17 *EAST CAROLINA
Lightning round, part 2.

*WASHINGTON -5.5 Hawai’i
Lightning round, part 3.

TCU -1 *AIR FORCE
Nowhere in my contract does it state that I must pick the service academy in a second Professor's Service Academy Game of the Week, brought to you by Armed Forces Network. So, as much as I’d like to sing “off we go into the wild blue yonder,” I just can’t. TCU is an angry, angry team that will look to take out its frustrations on the future leaders of our great nation.

South Carolina -3 *GEORGIA
The Mark Richt Farewell Tour’s home opener won’t be pretty for Mark Richt or the Bulldogs=

*TEXAS -7 BYU
This pick is for all those young men in black pants and short sleeved white dress shirts. Get off my property, you proselytizers!

*USC -8.5 Utah
Chalk this one up to The Professor picking with his heart and his head. I’m calling a Utah win here. Welcome to the Pac-12, Utes!

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

2011 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Total Points
1. The Professor 13-5 (15)
1. KCKCKCK 13-5 (15)
3. Special G 12-5 (12)
4. The Veteran 9-9 (11)
4. The Host 9-9 (11)
4. LFK 9-9 (11)
4. Wickstrom 11-7 (11)
8. The Cornerman 10-8 (10)
8. Miss Money 8-9 (10)
10. Strickly Cash 7-11 (9)
10. Money Traen 9-8 (9)
12. Steve Stellar 7-11 (7)
13. C-Noth 0-0 (0)
13. Vose 0-0 (0)
13. automatic 0-0 (0)
13. Lockrem’s Locks 0-0 (0)

2011 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Points Per Week (Locks)
1. The Professor 15 (1-0)
1. KCKCKCK 15 (1-0)
3. Special G 12 (0-1)
4. The Veteran 11 (1-0)
4. The Host 11 (1-0)
4. LFK 11 (1-0)
4. Wickstrom 11 (0-0)
8. The Cornerman 10 (0-1)
8. Miss Money 10 (1-0)
10. Strickly Cash 9 (1-0)
10. Money Traen 9 (0-1)
12. Steve Stellar 7 (0-1)
13. C-Noth 0-0 (0-0)
13. Vose 0-0 (0-0)
13. automatic 0-0 (0-0)
13. Lockrem’s Locks 0-0 (0)

Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 1 Smart Money Picks

My name is The Professor. Welcome to The Professor's Smart Money Picks 101, a crucial part of the curriculum known as Pick 'Em Corner. I've been handicapping college football games for decades now and would like you to know that I am a two-time Pick 'Em Corner Big Ten Regular Season Handicapping Champion (2008, 2009). Pay no mind to my predictions for games outside the Big Ten regular season.

The Professor is excited for the new Pick ‘Em Corner with various panelists in charge with selecting games from week to week. Good luck to my fellow panelists in attempting to choose games in an effort to stump The Professor. It’s a futile effort, but good luck nonetheless.

For those of you not familiar with The Professor and my process for handicapping college football games, I've included a brief syllabus:

1. The Professor is proud to return as the presenter of The Professor's Service Academy Game of the Week (SAGoW), brought to you by Armed Forces Network.

2. The Professor ALWAYS chooses the service academy squad in the SAGoW, no matter the matchup or spread.

3. The Professor will weekly provide you with a prediction on which to place the bulk of your bankroll. This prediction will be known as The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University.

4. The Professor will do his darndest to avoid picking Wisconsin and Iowa during the season, but ridiculous betting lines may prevent him from doing so from time to time.

5. The Professor uses a mathematical process he created to decide games involving Illinois. The Ron Zook Postulate states that any game involving noted waterskiing head coach Ron Zook should be picked in favor of the Fighting Illini's opponent when the spread seems reasonable if it involved any other coach. The related Tim Brewster Theorem was retired on Oct. 16, 2010.

6. From time to time, The Professor will sponsor the Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game, brought to you by RO*TEL.

7. The Professor's colleagues in the Pick 'Em Corner curriculum include, but are not limited to, The Host, Steve Stellar, The Cornerman, KCKCKCK, The Veteran, Miss Money, autoMATTic, Strickly Cash, Money Traen, C-Noth, Lockrem's Locks, Foreman’s Forecast, Special G and Vose. Do not trust your money to them and their picks.

8. The Professor will use Mr. Heavyfoot (http://mrheavyfoot.blogspot.com) as the homepage for The Professor's Smart Money Picks of the Week. Given enough time and/or the hiring of a quality TA, Mr. Heavyfoot will host the Pick 'Em Corner weekly picks and standings.

9. The Professor's Smart Money Picks will be distinguished in bold (* denotes home team).

Without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by the City of Chanhassen.


*Wisconsin -35 UNLV Thursday game
As noted above, The Professor does everything in his power to not choose Wisconsin in his weekly picks when the point spread allows. This is one such point spread. Of course the Badgers are going to win and win big, but with a new QB at the helm, it will take Wisconsin some time to get going in this tilt. I have absolutely no delusions that the Rebs will be able to hang with Wisco, but 35 points are just too many.

*Ohio State -34 Akron
A little known, but useful tool in deciding games involving Akron is the Tom Wistrcill Hypothesis. Wistrcill, as most of the Pick ‘Em Corner panel is aware, is a former Minnesota assistant AD and current AD at Akron. The Tom Wistrcill Hypothesis states that, in games involving Akron with point spreads of 30 points or more, go with the Zips. It’s a working hypothesis, but it’s enough for me in this game. Akron is a plucky little team with an adorable kangaroo mascot, while the Buckeyes are talented as always, but a team full of question marks after a turbulent offseason. Methinks 34 points is just a tad too much for an OSU squad with a new coach and QB. Go Zips.

*Boston College -3 Northwestern
Dan Persa’s limp is a limp, not a pimp walk. ‘‘Your limp could be somebody else’s pimp walk,’’ Wildcats coach Pat Fitzgerald said of his QB’s injury concerns. This is the same coach that said Tim Brewster’s 2010 Gophers were “one of the best-coached teams in the country.” Clearly, Fitzgerald’s observational skills are lacking. Until he proves me wrong, I shall hereby be picking against the ‘Cats in 2011. Sorry, KCKCKCK

*Penn State -37 Indiana State
Last season, in Pick ‘Em Corner games involving point spreads of 34 points or more, the favorite was 7-2. So why, pray tell, is The Professor going with the underdogs in all these big-spread games? Easy. Four of those seven favorites last season were Boise State. The others: Alabama, Ohio State and Oregon. The 2011 offenses of Wisconsin, Ohio State, Penn State and Iowa (coming up next) aren’t anywhere near the caliber of the 2010 offenses of the Broncos, Tide, Buckeyes and Ducks.

*Iowa -40 Tennessee Tech
See Penn State-Indiana State. Also, The Professor does everything in his power to not choose Iowa in his weekly picks when the point spread allows. This is one such point spread.

*Purdue -18.5 Middle Tennessee
Amateur Pick ‘Em Corner panelists like Miss Money or Lockrem’s Locks will look at an 18.5 point spread between a Big Ten team and a school with a directional name and immediately pick the Boilers. Folks, The Professor is not an amateur prognosticator. You can’t spell Professor without ‘pro.’ Middle Tennessee State is a decent program in the Sun Belt looking for a signature win, while all Purdue (aka Torn ACL U) has going for itself right now is Danny Hope’s lipsweater. When you’re using something called Caleb TerBush as your starting QB and you’re pinning your hopes on the paper knees of RB Ralph Bolden, you’re in trouble. In fact … DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University!

*Alabama -36.5 Kent State
Last season, in Pick ‘Em Corner games involving point spreads of 34 points or more, the favorite was 7-2. Pay no mind to me ignoring that stat in the above games. Oh, and ROLL! TIDE! TURKEY!

*USC -21 Minnesota
The Professor is drunk on Jerry Kill Kool-Aid (tastes like vinegar mixed with sweet tea!), so take this pick as you’d like, but I’m a believer in what Kill is doing at Minnesota. Do I believe, like ESPN.com’s Pat Forde that the Gophers will pull the upset? No, not for one second. But I do believe the lack of film on a Jerry Kill-coached Minnesota team will help immensely against USC. The Trojan coaching staff has been watching Northern Illinois video to get a sense of what they might see on Saturday, but none of that video will include Marqueis Gray, Da’Jon McKnight or Eric Lair. USC will out-talent Minnesota at pretty much every position, but they will not out-coach the Gophers like they did last year. The Trojans win this one, but it won’t be easy.

*Notre Dame -10 South Florida
It's time for The Professor's weekly lecture on the concept of schadenfreude, defined as "satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune." Nothing explains The Professor's feelings about schools like Wisconsin, Iowa and Notre Dame better then schadenfreude. In that vein, I would like to introduce The Professor’s Schadenfreude Game of the Week, presented by Gasthof Zur Gemutlichkeit.

*Illinois -20.5 Arkansas State
The Ron Zook Postulate in full effect here. As a reminder: The Ron Zook Postulate states that any game involving noted waterskiing head coach Ron Zook should be picked in favor of the Fighting Illini's opponent when the spread seems reasonable if it involved any other coach.

*Nebraska -36 Chattanooga
See Alabama-Kent State.

*Michigan -14 Western Michigan
It may take Denard Robinson some time to get going in the new offense, but Michigan is easily two TDs better than the Broncos. And now, Pure Michigan:


*Indiana -6.5 Ball State (Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Ind.)
[crickets]



Boise State -3.5 Georgia (Georgia Dome- Atlanta, Ga.)
For some reason, The Professor loves the Broncos. Last season, The Professor went 7-2 in games involving Boise State, picking the Smurf Turfers in every contest. That’s not changing here. Plus, it’s another chance for the schadenfreude angle to play out as it would be awesome to see a team from freakin’ Idaho beat up on a squad from the big, bad SEC.

Oregon -1 LSU (Cowboy Stadium – Dallas, Texas)
If this game was in Baton Rouge, I might pick the Tigers, but the potent Duck offense on artificial turf of Cowboy Stadium, coupled with the loss of LSU’s QB and top WR spell a win for Oregon. Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack!


*Hawai’i -7 Colorado
It's the Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game, brought to you by RO*TEL. I dunno. Go Rainbow Warriors. I guess. Oh, and since 2007, Colorado has lost 18 straight road games. Here’s hoping they make it 19 by a TD or more.

Miami -5.5 *Maryland Monday game
Without prostitutes, yacht parties, booze, cash handouts and bounties, how can the ‘Canes be expected to be motivated to play this season? Go Terps.

BYU -3 *Ole Miss
We end Week 1 with a thud. Nice work as always, Host. Knowing nothing about either of these teams, I’ll use the coaches’ names as a way to pick a winner. Hmmm. While Bronco Mendenhall is an awesome name and very football-like, there are few names in college football more fun to say than Houston Nutt. Try it. Houston Nutt. Houston Nutt. Houston Nutt.

Finally, WHERE IS THE SERVICE ACADEMY GAME OF THE WEEK?!?! In lieu of The Host not including The Professor's Service Academy Game of the Week (SAGoW), brought to you by Armed Forces Network, I give you my picks for all games involving service academies:

*Northern Illinois -10.5 Army
On, brave old Army team!

*Navy -8 Delaware
Anchors aweigh!

*Air Force -33.5. South Dakota
Off we go, into the wild blue yonder!

Johns Hopkins -8.5 *Merchant Marine
We're moving down the field to victory
Men of the Grey and Blue!

Bye week: Coast Guard Academy.

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 11 Smart Money Picks

The Professor is back. Back to his rightful place atop the Pick 'Em Corner standings. That's right, YOUR two-time defending Pick 'Em Corner Big Ten Regular Season Handicapping Champion owns the top spot in everyone's favorite college football betting program.

My fellow panelists wrote off The Professor after an admittedly awful 4-10-1 Week 7, which left The Professor below .500 for the year and the owner of a 2-5 locks record. Well, my how the tables have turned. Since Week 7, The Professor has posted a 31-13-1 tear, including a 3-0 mark in locks.

The Professor is back, indeed.

So, without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by the City of Chanhassen.

Iowa -10 NORTHWESTERN
The Professor is a numbers guy and all the numbers say to pick the Cats in this one. There's Kirk Ferentz's 4-5 mark against NU, including a 1-3 record against Pat Fitzgerald. There's the Hawkeyes' lackluster win over Indiana last weekend. And then there's the Northwestern's upset win in Iowa City last season to derail the Hawks' undefeated season. So why is The Professor siding with Iowa? First, Iowa is very, very good. Northwestern is not. Second, although this is a road game, it's not a road game since there will be thousands of Iowa fans at Ryan Field. Plus, KCKCKCK will probably be picking the Cats, since that's what he does. Go Hawks.

WISCONSIN -21.5 Indiana
Chalk this one up to my hatred of all things Wisconsin. The Badgers are head and shoulders better than Indiana, but by now, you know how much The Professor loves the schadenfreude angle as it related to Wisconsin. Nothing says schadenfreude more than a Hoosier cover. Plus, Special K is fond of saying, "Bucky is yucky."

ILLINOIS -21 Minnesota
In the aftermath of the Gophers' shellacking at the hands of Michigan State last week, Minnesota tight end Eric Lair said, "I don’t want to say we’re cocky, but we just believe no one can really stop us.” So, much like Mr. Lair, The Professor is going to delude himself into thinking the Gophers can cover this week on the road. Plus, I'm 2-5 this year when I pick against Goldy.

Michigan -12.5 PURDUE
Michigan: Explosive offense, high school defense. Purdue: Anemic offense, "meh" defense. Sounds like a 14-point Maize and Blue win to me. Plus, RichRod is still pissed at Danny Hope and his weird post-game exchange after Purdue's win at Michigan Stadium last year.

Utah -5.5 NOTRE DAME
Utah looking for redemption after last week's embarrassing home loss to TCU + Notre Dame's 11-game losing streak to ranked opponents + the Irish starting a true freshman QB + a quiet home crowd = a convincing Utah win. Plus, it's always fun to cheer against Notre Dame.

OHIO STATE -18 Penn State
The Bucks are rested and ready to introduce PSU QB Matt McGloin to a real Big Ten defense, not the high school-level defenses at Northwestern, Michigan, Minnesota and Illinois. Plus, it's always fun to pick against the alma mater of The Cornerman and Foreman's Forecast.

AUBURN -8.5 Georgia
Color me surprised that Steve Stellar didn't take this one off the board when the rest of the sports books already have, thanks to the ongoing Cam Newton saga. Are we really providing our viewers a service when we include a game on our docket that bookies won't touch with a 10-foot pole? Ok fine. I'll go with the conventional wisdom that the distractions will keep this game close. Plus, I'd like to see the SEC's top team fall to help out TCU/Boise State.

FLORIDA -6.5 South Carolina
This game is a tale of two teams going in separate directions - Florida up and USC down. Throw in the fact that this game will be played in the Swamp and you have the makings of a convincing Gator win. Plus, the Gamecocks lost by 21 at home to Woo Pig Sooie last weekend.

Oregon -19.5 CAL
It's worked for two straight weeks, so why not try it again? In the spirit of the Mighty Ducks movies, of which the esteemed publication Let's Play Hockey was a part: Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack! DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University!



ALABAMA -13.5 Mississippi St. (Roll Tide Turkey game)
I haven't picked against the Tide a single time this season. Sure, it's led me to a 5-4 mark in Roll Tide Turkey games, but I think it's time to shake things up a bit. Plus, I think 13.5 points are just a tad too much in this "closer than the experts think" game.

ARIZONA (home) -4 USC
In the last five weeks USC has given up 32 or more points four times. Meanwhile, Arizona is 10th in the nation in points against. Plus, this is a night game in front of the 'Zona Zoo.

Army Pick’Em KENT STATE (Service Academy game)
In honor of Veteran's Day Weekend, I give you the complete lyrics to the Army fight song:

The Army team's the pride and dream
Of every heart in gray,
The Army line you'll ever find
A terror in the fray;
And when the team is fighting
For the Black and Gray and Gold,
We're always near with song and cheer
And this is the tale we're told:
The Army team ...
(Band accompaniment)
(Whistle)
On, brave old Army team,
On to the fray;
Fight on to victory,
For that's the fearless Army way.



Miami -2.5 GEORGIA TECH
For two consecutive weeks, I've had the pleasure of picking against Steve Stellar's favorite squad and came away the big winner. What makes you think I'm going to change now. Plus, this is the first time this season we get to sing, "I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech, and a hell of an engineer--A helluva, helluva, helluva, helluva, hell of an engineer."



*Boise State -34.5 Idaho
Despite the mounting evidence that it's going to take a miracle for Boise State to get a piece of the BCS pie, there's still hope for the Smurf Turfers. They're still on a mission and that means they'll pile on the points again this week, then wake up the next morning and watch a distracted Auburn team implode against Georgia.

Iowa State -2.5 COLORADO (Meaningless game of the Week)
Befitting the Meaningless Game of the Week, here's my analysis: [This space intentionally left blank].

*Stanford -5 ARIZONA STATE
Did I mention I'm 31-13-1 in the last three weeks? I did? Well, then just go with me on this one.

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Total Points
1. The Professor 82-66-5 (92 pts.)
2. Special G 83-65-5 (91)
3. The Veteran 78-70-5 (90)
4. Strickly Cash 81-67-5 (87)
5. The Host 71-77-5 (87)
6. Steve Stellar 79-70-5 (85)
6. KCKCKCK 75-58-5 (85)
8. The Cornerman 68-80-5 (84)
9. Foreman's Forecast 70-76-5 (80)
10. Miss Money 54-65-3 (62)
11. C-Noth 51-64-4 (59)
12. Money Traen 35-40-3 (37)
13. Vose 30-30-3 (32)
14. autoMATTic 24-33-3 (26)
15. Lockrem's Locks 9-6-0 (9)

2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Points Per Week (Locks)
1. KCKCKCK 9.4 (5-4)
2. The Professor 9.2 (5-5)
3. Special G 9.1 (4-6)
4. The Veteran 9.0 (6-4)
4. Lockrem's Locks 9.0 (0-1)
6. The Host 8.7 (8-2)
6. Strickly Cash 8.7 (3-7)
8. Steve Stellar 8.5 (3-7)
9. The Cornerman 8.4 (8-2)
10. Foreman's Forecast 8.0 (4-6)
10. Vose 8.0 (1-3)
12. Miss Money 7.8 (4-4)
13. C-Noth 7.4 (4-3)
13. Money Traen 7.4 (1-4)
15. autoMATTic 6.5 (1-3)

Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 10 Smart Money Picks

Much like my reaction to the news of the Tim Brewster firing, The Professor would like to celebrate the end of East Coast Bias Week for the 2010 season. The fact that The Host allows Pick 'Em Corner to be hijacked by a couple of transplants who play Duck, Duck, Goose and Flush/Knockout is a troubling sign for the future of this esteemed program. With that in mind, I propose that in weeks that The Host is too busy to choose games, the previous week's top scorer should do the honors.

Of course, that would mean The Host actually gets around to, you know, doing his job and compiling the results from previous weeks, so never mind, I guess.

On to Week 10. The Professor is happy to see we're done with the abomination of ECBW, even though I did notch 13 points last week. The Professor is also happy to see Cornerman and Steve Stellar have listened to the plethora of complaints from Pick 'Em Corner's Midwest-centric fan base and avoided games like Syracuse-Louisville and Boston College-Wake Forest. Good on ya, fellow panelists.

So, without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks (West Coast Bias Week Edition), brought to you by the City of Chanhassen.

Iowa -17.5 INDIANA
The Professor can admit when he's wrong. I partially had written off Iowa after they picked up their second loss a couple weeks ago. Oops. That thumping of Sparty showed how far off I was. Two losses or not, the Hawkeyes are still in the mix for the Big Ten title and they're not going to let their foot off the gas in what should be an Iowa rout in Bloomington.

MICHIGAN ST. -24.5 Minnesota
The Professor's Progeny (v1), Special K, learned quickly last week what it means to be a Gopher fan. After Ohio State marched down the field for a touchdown on its opening possession, Special K turned to me and said, "I want to go home." Expect the Gophers to feel much the same way early on in this tilt with Sparty.

MICHIGAN -3 Illinois
The Ron Zook Postulate does not apply for games where the spread is actually opposite of what it should be. This is one of those games. Much like last season, the wheels are coming off in Michigan. Meanwhile, the Illini look like a team just a notch below the Big Ten elite. It's hard to believe, given who their coach is, but this is my secondary lock of the week (no extra points awarded, though they should be if you pick a team coached by Ron Zook).

MIAMI (Fla.) -7.5 Maryland
Ugh, Steve Stellar's East Coast bias rears its ugly head again. Fear the Turtle.

Wisconsin -20 PURDUE
You know I hate to do it, but I have to pick Bucky here. Purdue is bad, really bad, like almost Minnesota bad.

Air Force -6.5 ARMY (Service Academcy GOW)
Army's new awesome camouflage uniforms are good enough for a cover in West Point.

On, brave old Army team!
On to the fray.
Fight on to victory
For that's the fearless Army way.

TCU -4.5 UTAH (Home)
Some people are looking at this game as a playoff for a BCS bowl spot. Others are looking at this game as the winner's opportunity to leapfrog Boise State in the BCS standings. The Professor is looking at this game as a battle between two teams who really haven't played anybody. Ok, TCU beat Oregon State and Baylor, but that doesn't do a lot for me. And Utah beat, well, umm, choose which team does it for you: Iowa State, Pitt, Air Force. TCU's body of work is a tad stronger that the Utes, so that's what I'm going with here.

BOISE STATE -21 Hawai'i
I really want to take the Rainbow Warriors here as they've put together a solid season, but Boise State is on a mission to upset the apple cart that is the BCS. To do that, the Broncos obviously need to win, but moreso, win big. That's exactly what they do here.

Alabama -6.5 LSU (RTT GOW)
Like the Cornerman, I wouldn't be sad to see the Roll Tide Turkey Game of the Week take a break from time to time, but not this week. I'm still of the belief that LSU is as mediocre a 7-1 team as you'll find. Meanwhile, Alabama should be back to being Alabama after a pair of good wins following the upset loss to South Carolina. The difference maker here is the Tide defense. Aside from the hiccup in Columbia, Bama has allowed more 13 points just once this season. The Bama defense will stop the LSU run and force the anemic Tiger pass offense to do what it does best - throw interceptions. Roll! Tide! Turkey!

PENN STATE -5.5 Northwestern
Joe Paterno gets his first shot at getting his 400th win and his players aren't going to let a team of nerds prevent it from happening.

OREGON -35 Washington
It worked last week, so why not try it again? In the spirit of the Mighty Ducks movies, of which the esteemed publication Let's Play Hockey was a part: Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack! DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University!



Nebraska -17.5 IOWA STATEI'm tired of picking the favorite. Yup, that's why I'm going with the Cyclones.

California -14 WASHINGTON STATE (Victory Sports Meaningless GOW)
See Nebraska-Iowa State.

STANFORD -9.5 Arizona
I'm running out of steam here, I'll admit. I like the Cardinal to take the win here, but the spread is just a tad too big for me, especially considering Zona's stout defense. Go Cats.

USC -5 Arizona StateLast week's game against Oregon was USC's bowl game for they year and they allowed 53 points. Now, I don't expect Arizona State to put up anywhere near the same numbers as the Ducks, but there's just no chance the prima donna-laden Trojan roster has any sort of motivation for this game with the Devils. Lane Kiffin will do his best to rally the troops, but in a season that now means nothing, the USC players will mail in the rest of the season, starting with this game. DEVILS!!!



Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 9 Smart Money Picks

Not a lot of time for The Professor this week what with actual work to do, along with getting ready for Special K's 3rd birthday tomorrow. With that in mind, it's lightning round week for The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by the City of Chanhassen.

Illinois -17 PURDUE
The Ron Zook Postulate screwed me last week, so I'm shelving it...for now.

Miami -15 VIRGINIA
Miami's underachieving season continues. I'd apologize to Steve Stellar here, but he's partially responsible for ANOTHER East Coach Bias Week of which The Professor is an unabashed detractor.

PITTSBURGH -9 Louisville
Ugh, I hate East Coast Bias Week v.2. Thus, here's my analysis for this game: [this space intentionally left blank].

Northwestern -3 INDIANA
Northwestern sucks, but Indiana is suckier.

TEMPLE -29.5 Akron (Victory Spots Meaningless GOW)
Never, ever pick Akron...even if they do have an awesome kangaroo for a mascot.

NOTRE DAME -8.5 Tulsa
[Analysis redacted]

IOWA -6.5 Michigan State
What the heck does Sparty have to do to gain respect? Win this game, perhaps?

GEORGIA -3 Florida
Don't know why I went with Florida and I don't care.

Auburn -7 MISSISSIPPI
Cam Newton is good for a Tiger win by 8 or more.

NEBRASKA -7.5 Missouri
Total number of minutes I've seen either of these teams play this season: 0. Bet carefully.

Utah -7 AIR FORCE (Service GOW)
I'd love to sing "Off we go into the wild blue yonder" here, but I just can't do it. Tempted to lock this one in, but my affinity toward the service academies prevents me from doing so.

Ohio State -25.5 MINNESOTA
Appropriately, Special K's first introduction to the splendor of live Gopher football results in a Buckeye rout...on his birthday. Welcome to a lifetime of disappointment and heartache, my son.


Michigan -3 PENN STATE
I'd pick the Nits here, but there are several reasons not to: 1. The Cornerman went to Penn State and his grubby little hands are all over this abomination known as East Coast Bias Week v.2. 2. The Nittany Lion is a horrible mascot that looks like it was made by the Cornerman's great-grandparents as a gift to little Cornerman to wear for Halloween circa 1982. 3. Michigan is west of Pennsylvania. Did I mention how much I hate East Coast Bias Week?

Oregon -6.5 USC
In the spirit of the Mighty Ducks movies, of which the esteemed publication Let's Play Hockey was a part: Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack!




HAWAII -14.5 Idaho
DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University!

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 8 Smart Money Picks

Connecticut -2 LOUISVILLE
Penn State -9.5 MINNESOTA
PITTSBURGH -13.5 Rutgers
Michigan State -5 NORTHWESTERN
Western Michigan -7.5 AKRON ***LOCK***
ILLINOIS -14 Indiana
OHIO STATE -24 Purdue
Notre Dame -7 Navy (at East Rutherford, NJ)
IOWA -5.5 Wisconsin
AUBURN -6 LSU
Nebraska -5.5 OKLAHOMA STATE
MIAMI -6.5 North Carolina
ALABAMA -16.5 Tennessee
Oklahoma -3 MISSOURI
STANFORD -35 Washington State

Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 7 Smart Money Picks

Last week, I said this in my Northwestern vs. Purdue pick analysis: "It's time for The Professor is Just Picking This Way Because, On the Off Chance He Gets to Watch This Game, He'd Like to Cheer for Northwestern Instead of Purdue. For the record, if The Professor's Smart Money Picks continue producing medicore results, I just may pick every game this way for the rest of the season." As expected, it was another mediocre week for The Professor with a 7-7-1 record, including a winning lock.

Now, staying true to my word, I'd like to announce that for each game this week, I'll be picking the team that I want to win and/or cover. I used this strategy in two games last week and went 0-2, so I can't do much worse. If this tactic works this week, I'll stick to it for week 8. If not, it's back to the postulates, theorems and calls to all of The Professor's many contacts in the college football world.

So, without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, (The Professor is Just Picking This Way Because, On the Off Chance He Gets to Watch This Game, He'd Like to Cheer for Team X Instead of Team Y edition), brought to you by the City of Chanhassen.

INDIANA -10.5 Arkansas State
How can you cheer against Indiana? What's there to hate? On the same token, how can you cheer for Arkansas State? Sure, they're not hateable, but they're also completely and utterly irrelevant. In a battle of reative irrelevancy, The Professor likes the Hoosiers.

#11 MICHIGAN ST. -7 Illinois
I don't dislike Illinois and I don't really like Michigan State, but the Spartans have grown on me over the season with the Dantonio heart angle, their fun-to-watch offense and their back-to-back wins over Bucky and Michigan. Meanwhile, there's the Ron Zook Postulate and the fact that Tim Brewster played at Illinois. Go Sparty.

Pittsburgh -1 SYRACUSE
In a tight battle, but my love of the 'stache beats my love of Otto the Orange. Plus, Syracuse plays in the godforsaken Carrier Dome - a facility that, ironically, does not have air conditioning despite being named for an HVAC manufacturer, much like Mankato State's Midwest Wireless Civic Center and its absence of wireless internet.

PURDUE -5 Minnesota
What, you ask, is The Professor doing picking against his beloved Gophers? What would make him put his allegiance behind a pedestrian Purdue squad? Simple, my friends. This report from 1500 ESPN. Now, The Professor knows that it is inevitable that the Tim Brewster era is essentially over, win or not this weekend. But, from where I sit, the sooner Dinkytown and Stadium Village (now with stadium!) rids itself of the used car salesman masquerading as Big Ten football coach, the better. I know many will argue that canning a coach at midseason can do more harm than good to a program; that it sends a message of instability to all possible replacements. Some will argue that recruiting will be hurt and that the school runs the risk of the players mailing in the rest of the season after they're saddled with a lame duck or interim coach. All good points. My take: I DON'T CARE. Nothing would make me happier as a Gopher fan than to see Brewster go. Unless I'm suffering from a severe case of revisionist history, I was never a fan of Brewster and his braggadocio. From the leak of his name as Glen Mason's successor, to his first press conference, to every time he opened his mouth after being hired, to his 1-11 2007 season, to his 15-29 overall record, to his 6-20 Big Ten mark, to his 0-9 mark in rivalry games, to his "light years" quote and everything in between, The Professor has wanted Tim Brewster gone. I can't believe an athletic director of a Big Ten institution bought into the crap Brewster was selling. It reminds me of something Gopher wrestling coach J Robinson once told me: "You can't put perfume in a bucket of manure and expect me to buy it." And that just about sums up the Tim Brewster era. Enjoy West Lafayette, Tim. And while you're there, maybe you can get your old job back at Central Catholic High School.

RUTGERS -7 Army (Service GOW)
On, brave old Army team!
On to the fray.
Fight on to victory
For that's the fearless Army way.

NOTRE DAME -24 Western Michigan
The Professor is an avowed Notre Dame hater, so this is a real easy pick this week. Plus, I've been to Grand Rapids, Mich. - the home of WMU - and thought it was a nice town. Reason enough, I say.

#14 Iowa -3 #24 MICHIGAN
Who hates Iowa? The Professor hates Iowa. (Note: The Professor also hates Michigan, just not as much as Iowa...thus the pick.)

#4 NEBRASKA -9.5 Texas
DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University! Methinks the Huskers will be playing a tad angry here what with the kick-to-the-nuts result of last year's Big 12 title game and the preferential treatment the Horns have received over the years in the conference. This is likely Nebraska's last chance to send a giant eff-you to Texas and the powers-that-be in the Big 12 conference office as the Big Red Machine moves onto the Big 10+2, and I think they'll do just that.

#7 AUBURN -3.5 #13 Arkansas
It's a heckuva lot more fun to say, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PIG! SOOIE!" than it is to say "War Eagle!"

#12 South Carolina -4.5 KENTUCKY
By no means am I pulling for South Carolina because I'm a fan of the Gamecocks or Steve Spurrier. I'd just like to see a team win the SEC this season that doesn't involve Nick Saban.

#1 Ohio State -3.5 #16 WISCONSIN
Easy, easy pick for The Professor here. There's the schadenfreude angle. The "I want to see a Big Ten team win it all this season" angle. The "What has Wisco done this season to show that they're capable of upsetting the vaunted Buckeyes?" angle. And that hateable "Teach Me How To Bucky" video that surfaced on the interwebs angle (I urge you not to watch this. Instead, check out the series of "Goldy Did It!" YouTube videos). Go Bucks.

#3 Boise State -40.5 SAN JOSE STATE
Sure, I hate the Broncos' Smurf Turf and I love SJSU's old media guide covers, but this game is in San Jose and the Spartans' media guide cover looks like everyone else's now. That's a push, but I'm 3-1 when picking Boise State this year and always love a good rout.

#8 ALABAMA -20.5 Mississippi (RTT GOW)
Under normal circumstances, I love to cheer against the Tide and their hateable head coach, but Ole Miss just chose a black bear for their mascot and that just makes no sense to me. Roll! Tide! Turkey!

WASHINGTON -2 Oregon State
It's The Host's Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game.

#21 Nevada -6.5 HAWAII
I've never been to Hawaii and that makes me sad and angry. I have been to Nevada and that makes me a person who has been to Nevada. And that's the rationale I'm using for this pick.

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Total Points
1. The Cornerman 45-45-3 (57 pts.)
2. KCKCKCK 50-40-3 (56)
3. The Veteran 47-43-3 (55)
4. Special G 50-40-3 (54)
5. The Host 45-45-3 (53)
6. Steve Stellar 50-40-3 (52)
7. The Professor 47-43-3 (51)
8. Strickly Cash 41-49-3 (45)
9. Foreman's Forecast 40-50-3 (44)
10. Money Traen 35-40-3 (37)
11. Miss Money 28-48-1 (32)
12. C-Noth 22-39-2 (26)
13. Vose 24-22-2 (24)
14. autoMATTic 12-17-1 (12)
15. Lockrem's Locks 9-6-0 (9)

2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Points Per Week (Locks)
1. The Cornerman 9.5 (6-0)
2. KCKCKCK 9.3 (3-3)
3. The Veteran 9.1 (4-2)
4. Special G 9.0 (2-4)
4. Lockrem's Locks 9.0 (0-1)
6. The Host 8.8 (4-2)
7. Steve Stellar 8.6 (1-5)
8. The Professor 8.5 (2-4)
9. Vose 8.0 (0-3)
10. Strickly Cash 7.5 (2-4)
11. Money Traen 7.4 (1-4)
12. Foreman's Forecast 7.3 (2-4)
13. C-Noth 6.5 (2-2)
14. Miss Money 6.4 (2-3)
15. autoMATTic 6.0 (0-2)

Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 6 Smart Money Picks

On behalf of the City of Chanhassen, The Professor would like to thank Pick 'Em Corner for returning to Buffalo Wild Wings Chanhassen for the first show of the season. It was a great show and will soon by available via podcast once The Host uploads the audio from his stolen recorder.

Pick 'Em Corner returns to the online-only world this week, which means we won't be seeing The Professor do the Chief Illiniwek dance, a live look-in to Camp Basra thanks to a satellite link provided by the Armed Forces Network, the flummoxed autoMATTic trying to come up with something witty while making his picks or the strange looks the Pick 'Em Corner panel receives from fellow BWW customers. Going back online also assures that autoMATTic will refuse to make any picks.

Without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by the City of Chanhassen.

#2 OHIO ST -21.5 Indiana
There's no question that the Buckeyes will win this game, but a nicked-up Terrelle Pryor combined with a decent Hoosier offense equals an Indiana cover. Plus, it's just so much more fun to cheer for Indiana than OSU.

PENN ST -7.5 Illinois
The Professor is virtually doing the Chief Illiniwek dance. It worked last week, so I thought I'd go back to the culturally-insensitive well once again. Plus, it's just so much more fun to cheer for Illinois than PSU.


#19 WISCONSIN -21.5 Minnesota
The Tim Brewster Farewell Tour makes its first stop of the season as Gopher Nation invades Madison. The Badgers are better than the Gophers in just about...no, in every way, so why am I siding with the Gophers? The quick and easy answer is, of course, schadenfreude. Obviously, this game is the Schadenfreude Super Bowl for The Professor. A Minnesota win would be great for this tortured Gopher fan, but a loss by Bucky would make it fell all the better. I have absolutely zero faith that Brewster will be able to pull off the miracle here, but this is an incredibly desperate team that will keep this game close. As much as the numbers tell me to invoke the Tim Brewster Theorem, my heart just won't let me do it. In fact, I'm going to do something the theorem says I should never do: DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University!

NOTRE DAME -6 Pittsburgh
The rout of Boston College got the Irish on track after a rough several weeks. There's just not enough 'stache power to overcome Notre Dame. And that's as much analysis I'm going to do for a game I really don't give a rat's ass about.

NORTH CAROLINA -2.5 Clemson
Speaking of games I don't give a rat's ass about, it's The Host's Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game.

#17 MICHIGAN -4.5 #16 Michigan State
Stay far, far away from this game, Professor's Pupils. There are just far too many contrasting areas to adequately get a good guage on this game. First, Michigan. The Wolverines have a terrific offense paced by who The Professor thinks should be the runaway favorite right now for the Heisman. On the other hand, Michigan owns the 10th-ranked scoring defense, 11th-ranked pass defense and seventh-ranked rush defense. Now, Michigan State. The Spartans also have a terrific offense paced by a stable of good running backs and a veteran QB. On the other hand, MSU ranks last in third-down conversions and penalties, 10th in sacks allowed, and ninth in pass defense and sacks. So, why is The Professor picking the Spartans? Ummm. Erm. Well, how about this: Mark Dantonio returns to the sidelines, providing Sparty with just enough lift to get by Michigan?

#1 Alabama -6.5 #20 SOUTH CAROLINA (RTT Game)
I'll be honest. I'm basically just picking the Tide here because it's what I do in the Roll Tide Turkey Game of the Week. It's led me to a 4-1 mark so far, so I'm not changing. I'm also contractually obligated through my agreement with The Host to say, "ROLL! TIDE! TURKEY!"

#13 Arkansas -6 TEXAS A&M
This smells like a trap, but The Professor doesn't believe in traps, so...WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PIG! SOOIE!

Navy -5.5 WAKE FOREST (Service Game)
Navy has been a huge disappointment this season, but that doesn't matter in The Professor's Service Academy Game of the Week (SAGoW), brought to you by Armed Forces Network. Anchors Aweigh, my boys, Anchors Aweigh!

#10 Utah -6 IOWA STATE
The sentimental side of The Professor wants to pick the Cyclones as Iowa State is my dad's alma mater, but the professorly side of me says the Cyclones have no chance of keeping the Utes in check.

#12 FLORIDA -7 lsu
Why, oh why, does LSU keep getting respect from the oddsmakers? Sure, they're undefeated, but it's been anything but impressive, including last week's "thrilling" 16-14 win at home over Tennessee. Take the Gators.

#25 NORTHWESTERN -10 Purdue
It's time for The Professor is Just Picking This Way Because, On the Off Chance He Gets to Watch This Game, He'd Like to Cheer for Northwestern Instead of Purdue. For the record, if The Professor's Smart Money Picks continue producing medicore results, I just may pick every game this way for the rest of the season.

#18 STANFORD -10 usc
See Northwestern-Purdue pick.

#4 BOISE STATE -39 Toledo
[Insert analysis here]

#14 MIAMI -6.5 Florida State
This one's for you, Steve Stellar.

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Total Points
1. The Host 42-34-2 (50 pts.)
2. KCKCKCK 43-33-2 (49)
3. The Cornerman 38-38-2 (48)
4. Special G 41-35-2 (45)
5. Steve Stellar 42-34-2 (44)
5. The Veteran 38-38-2 (44)
7. The Professor 40-36-2 (42)
8. Strickly Cash 35-41-2 (37)
9. Foreman's Forecast 32-44-2 (34)
10. Money Traen 30-31-2 (32)
11. Miss Money 22-40-0 (26)
11. C-Noth 22-39-2 (26)
13. Vose 24-22-2 (24)
14. Lockrem's Locks 9-6-0 (9)
15. autoMATTic 7-8-0 (7)

2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Points Per Week (Locks)
1. The Host 10.0 (4-1)
2. KCKCKCK 9.8 (3-2)
3. The Cornerman 9.6 (5-0)
4. Special G 9.0 (2-3)
4. Lockrem's Locks 9.0 (0-1)
5. Steve Stellar 8.8 (1-4)
5. The Veteran 8.8 (3-2)
7. The Professor 8.4 (1-4)
8. Vose 8.0 (0-3)
8. Money Traen 8.0 (1-3)
10. Strickly Cash 7.4 (1-4)
11. autoMATTic 7.0 (0-1)
12. Foreman's Forecast 6.8 (1-4)
13. Miss Money 6.5 (2-2)
13. C-Noth 6.5 (2-2)

Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 5 Smart Money Picks

The Professor's Smart Money Picks were presented live on Pick 'Em Corner from Buffalo Wild Wings in Chanhassen.

Northwestern -5.5 MINNESOTA
#17 Miami -3.5 CLEMSON
#2 Ohio State -17 ILLINOIS
Virginia Tech -4 NC STATE
AIR FORCE -10 Navy (Service GOW)
#19 Michigan -10 INDIANA
#8 Oklahoma -3.5 #16 Texas (Played in Dallas)
#9 Wisconsin -2 #21 MICHIGAN STATE
Texas Tech -7 IOWA STATE
Georgia -5 COLORADO ***LOCK***
#1 ALABAMA -9 #7 Florida
Notre Dame -2.5 BOSTON COLLEGE
#4 OREGON -7 #13 Stanford
#3 Boise State -42.5 New Mexico State
#18 IOWA -7 #20 Penn State

Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 4 Smart Money Picks

The Professor learned his lesson last week. Never, ever criticize Steve Stellar and Special G. The karmic retribution will come back to bite you. Nice work, Stellar and G.

I'd heap praise on KCKCKCK after an 11-point weekend, but he decided to rub my nose in my subpar week at the same time boasting of him enjoying cold beverages and chicken wings from a Wrigley Field suite during the Dave Matthews Band concert. Somehow, karma gives KCKCKCK a free pass for all of his arrogance and braggadocio, while The Professor gets chastised for a few choice words for all-around good guys like Steve Stellar and Special G. The only thing I can come up with is that karma is being nice to my esteemed colleague in Chicago as he will be turning the magical age of 40 in early November (Happy Birthday, KCKCKCK shirts now available for pre-ordering from The Cornerman). Karma apparently is more friendly to those of advancing age. Then again, C-Noth is 17-27-2.

The Professor is still crunching the numbers to figure out his awful showing in the Service Academy Games of the Week, sponsored by Armed Forces Network (0-3) and his subpar performance in The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University (1-2). Sometimes, there is just no explanation for phenomena in the Pick 'em Corner world. How else to explain noted college football enthusiast LFK's average of 6.3 points per week in Pick 'em Corner. It just makes no sense.

On to week 4, also known as Glen Mason Memorial Cupcake Week, brought to you by PPI Sports. Sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by the City of Chanhassen.

NORTHWESTERN -6.5 Central Michigan
Cupcake Week opens with admittedly non-cupcake game, at least by this week's standard. Central Michigan is a decent MAC team coming off a 52-14 win over Eastern Michigan. Of course, The Host with his jacked-up spine, Miss Money with her lack of athleticism, KCKCKCK with his surgically-repaired ticker, Lockrem's Locks and seven of their friends could probably put up at least 35 on EMU, so that result says nothing. Northwestern has a good thing going here with a chance to go 4-0 in the nonconference season and realistically look forward to a 6-0 mark with Minnesota and Purdue up next. There's just no way PatFitz lets the Cats have a letdown against the CMU [redacteds].



#23 MICHIGAN ST -25 Northern Colorado
This is the sort of game PPI Sports was looking for when they sponsored Cupcake Week. Some may say the Spartans are due for a letdown after last week's crazy win over Notre Dame. They may say MSU will overlook the Bears with Wisconsin looming the following week. They may also say the distraction of Mark Dantonio's heart attack will take its toll. They are all wrong. An overtime win over the Irish just motivated this team. Overlooking a team is a thing of the past as FCS teams have already posted six wins agains their FBS counterparts. And expect the Spartans to rally around their head coach with an inspiring effort. It all adds up to a big win for Sparty.



#22 MICHIGAN -25.5 Bowling Green
Ok, so Bowling Green is without their starting quarterback and the Falcons pass rush is listed by the NCAA Stats Service as 'sucks'. And yes, Denard Robinson will run roughshod over the BGSU D. All that being said, Falcon backup QB Aaron Pankratz has the size (6-6, 221) and throwing ability to torch a Michigan defense that was doing its best to make UMass look like App State. Of course, Michigan wins, but BGSU has too much firepower to get blown out.



#10 WISCONSIN -33 Austin Peay
Schadenfreude 3, Wisconsin 0. Three weeks. Three games where Bucky has failed to cover. C'mon Austin Peay, make like Cal Poly and give me another dose of Wisco-themed schadenfreude this week.





#18 IOWA -28 Ball State
Here's my rationale for this pick: Liberty 27, Ball State 23. Yes, that rationale backfired last week as Ball State hung in there with Purdue, but that was Purdue. Now the Cardinals are facing an ornery and motivated Iowa team that will be hurling the ball all over the field to protect its depleted backfield. Yes, it's INT-prone Ricky Stanzi throwing the ball, but still: Liberty 27, Ball State 23.


PURDUE -11.5 Toledo
A sucktastic Purdue offense + a craptacular Toledo offense = u-g-l-y, you ain't got no alibi. You ugly.


DUKE -6.5 Army (Service GOW)
Army alumni: Ulysses S. Grant, Dwight D. Eisenhower, George Patton, Douglas MacArthur. Duke alumni: Richard Nixon, Elizabeth Dole, Ron Paul, Jim Lehrer. I think I'll take my chances with the Corps of Cadets.

The Army team's the pride and dream
Of every heart in gray.
The Army line you'll ever find
A terror in the fray.
And when the team is fighting
For the Black and Gray and Gold,
We're always near with song and cheer
And this is the tale we're told:

On, brave old Army team!
On to the fray.
Fight on to victory
For that's the fearless Army way.


#17 Stanford -4.5 NOTRE DAME
Sports radio hosts are, as a rule, buffoons. Matt Patrick, morning drive host on 95.3 MNC Michiana Sporting News, made a complete ass of himself for saying that Mark Dantonio's heart attack was retribution from God for Michigan State pulling the Little Giants play on Patrick's beloved Fighting Irish last week. Stay classy, Matt. Expect retribution in the form of a resounding win by a team that has a tree for a mascot.





#2 OHIO STATE -44 Eastern Michigan
Ohio State is one of the only top 10 teams in the nation that doesn't actively try to run up the score. That being said, Eastern Michigan has allowed 111 points in its first three games. The Bucks won't be able to stop themselves from running up the score. If Urban Meyer was pacing the OSU sidelines, he just might try for triple digits on the scoreboard. Sweater Vest won't let that happen, but it's not like he's going to tell his players to drop the ball on purpose as they reach the end zone time after time.


#20 PENN STATE -13.5 Temple
In the interest of karma, I'm going to turn this pick over to noted Penn State enthusiast and fellow Pick 'em Corner panelist LFK. Take it away. "Thanks, 'fessor. Great to be here. IF MY NITS DON'T EFFING WIN THIS GAME BY 28 OR MORE, I'M GOING TO RIP THE FAUX CHIMNEY OFF OF MY TOWNHOUSE, CORNERMAN'S WISHES BE DAMNED! WE HAVEN'T LOST TO EFFING TEMPLE SINCE JOEPA WAS 14 YEARS OLD! 14, FOR GOD'S SAKE! THAT WAS BEFORE THE GERMANS BOMBED PEARL HARBOR! ON TOP OF THAT, 1985 WAS THE LAST TIME TEMPLE LOST BY FEWER THAN 13 POINTS! YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M PICKING PENN STATE TO WIN! EFF YOU, AL GOLDEN." Thanks, LFK. Love the passion. Like the pick. Go Nits.


#1 Alabama -7 #11 ARKANSAS
Three weeks of picking Alabama haven't let me down, so I'm not going to stop. As much as I enjoy saying, "Woo! Pig! Sooey!", Pick 'em Corner wouldn't be what it is (a colossal inside joke between a bunch of degenerates who need better social lives) without "ROLL! TIDE! TURKEY!



#7 NEBRASKA -26 South Dakota St.
DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University! Oh how The Professor loves when The Host sets the spread.



INDIANA -22.5 Akron
Hoosiers. Zips. You want excitement? You got it in the nonconference portion of the Indiana schedule. Two weeks of picking Indiana in their march through Cupcakeville have yielded victories for The Professor. What makes you think I'll do anything different here?



#14 AUBURN -3 #15 South Carolina
It's The Host's Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game.


#3 BOISE STATE -18.5 Oregon State
Oregon State prepared for this game by painting their practice field blue. That reeks of a team coming in scared. Have some confidence, Beavers, for crying out loud. Who cares if the field is blue? What possible difference does it make? Do you really think covering your practice field with blue paint is going to get your team ready for Boise State? No, it won't. You've already lost if that's your plan for preparing your squad. Meanwhile, this is the last chance for the Broncos to prove to the BCS that they belong amongst the big boys. They're not going to let a team that thinks field color is a primary factor come into their house and stay within three TDs. Take the Smurf Turf.




MINNESOTA -4 Northern Illinois
Desperation can lead to amazing results. Exhibit A: Strickly Cash's desperate attempts to leave his job in Minnesota resulted in a cushy position molding the youth of Wisconsin. Exhibit B: Special G's desperate quest to join Pick 'em Corner resulted in him holding the top spot in the standings in only his second year on the panel. And Exhibit C: The Professor's desperate search for a girlfriend/wife resulted in him far outkicking his coverage with a woman who finds Pick 'em Corner the most idiotic waste of time on the planet...and who's to say she's wrong. You see, desperation can be a vital tool in getting what you want. Tim Brewster knows this. Publicly, he's not claiming desperation and calling this game as a must-win, but in the locker room he's been on his hands and knees pleading with his team to win one for the Brew. He can see his future as a tight ends coach for the Montreal Alouettes. Of course, he just ran off one of his most talented players and there are rumors of a pending revolt in the locker room, so all bets are off. Still, when coaching fails (and it has), performance lacks (and it has) and your own administration is giving you half-hearted endorsements (and it has), desperation is all you've got. As Strickly Cash, Special G and The Professor can attest, sometimes desperation can lead to amazing results.


#12 LSU -10 #21 West Virginia
Saturday night in Baton Rouge is always a circus, so LSU looks to be the pick here. However, the Tiger offense stinks and West Virginia is certainly no cupcake. The LSU defense is very good, but they haven't faced a back like Noel Devine. Expect a tight game here, but keep your money in your pocket for this one as there's no telling what can happen at night at Tiger Stadium.

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Total Points
1. Special G 30-14-2 (34 pts.)
2. KCKCKCK 27-17-2 (31)
3. The Host 24-20-2 (30)
4. Steve Stellar 28-16-2 (28)
5. The Professor 25-19-2 (27)
6. Strickly Cash 24-20-2 (26)
6. The Cornerman 20-24-2 (26)
8. Money Traen 23-21-2 (25)
9. The Veteran 22-22-2 (24)
10. C-Noth 17-27-2 (21)
11. LFK 19-25-2 (19)
12. Miss Money 11-19-0 (15)
13. Vose 9-5-2 (9)
14. autoMATTic 0-0-0 (0)
14. Lockrem's Locks 0-0-0 (0)

2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Points Per Week (Locks)
1. Special G 11.3 (2-1)
2. KCKCKCK 10.3 (2-1)
3. The Host 10.5 (3-0)
4. Steve Stellar 9.3 (0-3)
5. The Professor 9.0 (1-2)
5. Vose 9.0 (0-1)
7. The Cornerman 8.6 (3-0
7. Strickly Cash 8.6 (1-2)
9. Money Traen 8.3 (1-2)
10. The Veteran 8.0 (1-2)
11. Miss Money 7.5 (2-0)
12. C-Noth 7.0 (2-1)
13. LFK 6.3 (0-3)
14. autoMATTic 0.0 (0-0)
14. Lockrem's Locks 0.0 (0-0)