Friday, December 20, 2013

Pick 'em Corner: The Professor's Bowl Game Smart Money Picks



  

Gildan New Mexico Bowl (Albuquerque, N.M.)
Washington State -4 Colorado State
Mike Leach likes pirates. KCKCKCK likes cougars. KCKCKCK dressed up as a pirate for Halloween this year, hoping to attract a cougar. All that adds up to a pick for Wazzu.


Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl (Las Vegas, Nev.)
USC -6 Fresno State
Look for USC to play inspired football for Coach O. Meanwhile, the Bulldogs are just happy to be somewhere other than Fresno.

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl (Boise, Idaho)
San Diego State -1
Buffalo
One team is from sunny Southern California. The other is from snowy Upstate New York. The game is in dreary Boise, Idaho. Take the Bulls.

R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl (New Orleans, La.)
Tulane –Pick ‘em – Louisiana-Lafayette
It’s the Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game (DAOtLotTTIACATG?G), brought to you by Casa de Autos. Could use Mrs. Money’s Fabulous Coin Flip here. Gimme the Green Wave.

Beef O’Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl (St. Petersburg, Fla.)
East Carolina -14 Ohio
I hear ECU has a nice offense. I haven’t seen it, because, well, it’s East Carolina. Also, just to make  sure Mrs. Money doesn’t teach here 1st grade students something incorrect … East Carolina is not a state. Ohio is. You’re welcome, Mrs. Money.

Sheraton Hawai’i Bowl (Honolulu, Hawaii)
Oregon State -2.5 Boise State
Lock it in. Beaver Fever trumps Interim Coach Influenza. DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It’s The Professor’s Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week (1 of 3), brought to you by National American University!

Little Caesars Pizza Bowl (Detroit, Mich.)
Bowling Green -5 Pittsburgh
The Falcons are 10-3 ATS this season. Take the team in orange. 

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl (San Diego, Calif.)
Northern Illinois -1.5 Utah State
The Huskies bounce back after a devastating MAC Championship Game loss to BGSU.

Military Bowl (Washington, D.C.)
Marshall -2.5 Maryland
The Professor does not fear turtles. Even the scarily-named snapping turtle. There’s no need to fear this Maryland team. Welcome to the Big Ten, Terrapins. Sigh.

Texas Bowl (Houston, Texas)
Minnesota -4 Syracuse
Lock it in. EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It’s The Professor’s Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week (2 of 3), brought to you by National American University! Jerry Kill & staff have proven to be excellent coaches, and with all the time to prepare, look for Minnesota to offer up some wrinkles on offense (a la last year in the bowl game with the Maryland Golden-I). The Professor is picking with his heart here by locking this in, hoping that a win will be the catapult to a big 2014 season.

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl (San Francisco, Calif.)
Washington -3 BYU
I just don’t trust Mormons. Those short-sleeved white dress shirts seem sketchy to me.

New Era Pinstripe Bowl (New York, N.Y.)
Notre Dame -15.5 Rutgers
This is purely a Schadenfreude pick here. Rutgers will get worked. Welcome to the Big Ten, R U READY. Sigh. 

Belk Bowl (Charlotte, N.C.)
North Carolina -3 Cincinnati
This one is for all the Belks. 

Russell Athletic Bowl (Orlando, Fla.)
Louisville -3 Miami (Fla.)
A de facto NFL tryout for Teddy Bridgewater means big things for the Cardinals.

Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl (Tempe, Ariz.)
Kansas State -3.5 Michigan
I saw a gif of Brady Hoke’s face superimposed on a Matt Foley’s face from an SNL skit (below). I laughed. I’ll also laugh when Hoke loses to Father Time.


Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl (Dallas, Texas)
Navy -6 Middle Tennessee
You broke my heart once again, Navy, with your resounding win over Army last week. But I still loves ya. In fact, that result might mean that Army makes institutional changes to help its football team become more competitive. AMERICA.

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl (Nashville, Tenn.)
Ole Miss -3 Georgia Tech
[Insert something about the Jackets’ triple option attack here]

Valero Alamo Bowl (San Antonio, Texas)
Oregon -13.5 Texas
Talent trumps inspiration here as the Ducks athletes knock the inspiration out of Texas as its says farewell to Mack Brown.

National University Holiday Bowl (San Diego, Calif.)
Arizona State -14 Texas Tech
 Lock it in. EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It’s The Professor’s Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week (3 of 3), brought to you by National American University! The Sun Devils score lots of points. Texas Tech gives up lots of point. DEVILS!

Advocare V100 Independence Bowl (Shreveport, La.)
Arizona -7.5 Boston College
BC has the running game to keep this close. The hook helps, too.  

Hyundai Sun Bowl (El Paso, Texas)
UCLA -7 Virginia Tech
Consistent QB play wins the day in this one. Want The Professor’s way-too-early pick for the 2014 (or 2015) Heisman. It’s UCLA signal-caller Brett Hundley.
Autozone Liberty Bowl (Memphis, Tenn.)
Mississippi State -7 Rice
ESS EEE CEE! ESS EEE CEE! ESS EEE CEE!

Chick-Fila-A Bowl (Atlanta, Ga.)
Texas A&M -11.5 Duke
Two Heisman winners in two weeks. Good luck, Dukies.

Heart of Dallas Bowl (Dallas, Tex.)
North Texas -6.5 UNLV
Your guess is as good as mine.

Taxslayer.com Gator Bowl (Jacksonville, Fla.)
Georgia -9 Nebraska
Coach Pelini wins big and saves his job. Or he loses and keeps his job. Or he loses and loses his job. I have no idea.

Outback Bowl (Tampa, Fla.)
LSU -7 Iowa
LSU was the only team to beat Auburn this season. Iowa beat, well, ummm, Minnesota, Michigan and Nebraska. Whoop-de-doo, Hawkeyes. GEAUX TIGERS!

Capital One Bowl (Orlando, Fla.)
South Carolina -1 Wisconsin
Two Schadenfreude games on New Year’s Day? The Professor and Gasthof zur Gemutlichkeit kick off 2014 on the right foot. Go Cocks!  

Rose Bowl (Pasadena, Calif.)
Stanford -4.5 Michigan State
Too many points for a game that will feature some physical, defensive football. Sparty > Smartypants. 

Fiesta Bowl (Glendale, Ariz.)
Baylor -16.5 UCF
UCF’s defense keeps the Bears in check for most of the game. Baylor wins by 14.

Sugar Bowl (New Orleans, La.)
Alabama -15 Oklahoma
This has all the makings of a Bama rout. ROLL TIDE TURKEY! 

Cotton Bowl (Arlington, Texas)
Missouri -1 Oklahoma State
Should be a fun game to watch, though I care little about either team.

Orange Bowl (Miami, Fla.)
Ohio State -2.5 Clemson
Urban Meyer has lost once. He won’t lose again for about 11 months. 

BBVA Compass Bowl (Birmingham, Ala.)
Vanderbilt -2.5 Houston
Vandy has the more impressive resume. That’s all I got.

GoDaddy.com Bowl (Mobile, Ala.)
Ball State -9
Arkansas State
I’ve taken too many favorites to this point. Thus the pick.

BCS Championship (Pasadena, Calif.)
Florida State -8.5
Auburn
Auburn hasn’t lost against the spread since Sept. 17 when they were a mere afterthought in the SEC. Now they’re in the BCS title game with a fun offense to watch against a Heisman winner, a potent offense and a strong defense. FSU hasn’t really played anybody like Auburn, so look for the Noles to start slow. I’m really torn about who I want to win this game. On one hand, it would be nice to see the SEC’s streak snapped, but it really sucks that it would come at the expense of a team that features Tim Brewster on its staff. I’ll wait until I start watching this game to see who I want to win. Until then, take Auburn to keep it close.





2013 Pick ‘em Corner Standings (locks in parentheses) 

1. Wick to Click - 150-144-6 (10-5) – 170 pts

2. Money Traen - 151-140-6 (9-6) – 169 pts
3. C-Noth - 153-141-6 (7-7-1) – 167 pts
3. Mrs. Money – 143-149-5 (12-3) – 167 pts
5. KCKCKCK – 152-142-6 (7-8) – 166 pts
5. Strickly Cash 153-141-6 (6-8-1) – 165 pts
5. The Cornerman 153-141-6 (6-8) – 165 pts
8. Steve Stellar – 154-140-6 (5-10) – 164 pts
9. The Veteran 142-151-6 (7-8) – 156 pts
10. Mr. Money - 140-151-6 (7-7) – 154 pts
10. The Professor – 142-152-6 (6-9) – 154 pts
12. Larry Traversie – 139-155-6 (7-7) – 153 pts
13. Big Gane-Bob – 136-153-5 (6-9) – 148 pts
13. Lockrem’s Locks - 128-147-4 (10-4) – 148 pts
15. Your Picks Ain't Schmidt – 114-140-6 (7-6) – 128 pts
16. The Host - 100-115-6 (5-5) – 110 pts
17. Do You See What I Seehusen - 47-54 (1-3) – 49 pts

18. The Line Adjuster – 3-1 (0-0) – 3 pts
19. Foreman’s Forecast – 0-0 (0-0) – 0 pts
19. auto-MATT-ic – 0-0 (0-0) – 0 pts

 

The Professor in 2013 Pick 'Em Corner
Overall record: 142-152-6 (.483)
Statistically-Proven Locks: 6-9 (.400)
Games involving Big Ten teams: 46-62-1 (.417)
Games not involving Big Ten teams: 93-90-5 (.508)
Minnesota games: 4-8 (.333)
Schadenfreude Games (Wisconsin, Iowa, Notre Dame): 11-23-1 (.329)
Service Academy Games: 6-8 (.462)
Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Games: 8-7 (.533)
Roll Tide Turkey Games: 3-7 (.300)
Tim Beckman Axiom Games: 4-8 (.333)