Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 4 Smart Money Picks

Due to the overwhelming success of The Professor’s Smart Money Picks, two additional lectures have been added to the class schedule. Sign up now and become a Professor’s Pupil. Do your best to avoid competing classes, such as The Host’s “How to Avoid Paying Your Bookie Even Though You’re Five Figures in the Red,” KCKCKCK’s “Even Mediocrity Can Stoke Your Ego 101” or Jeff Leach’s “Picking College Football Games by Coin Flip.” 

Sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

OHIO STATE -36.5 UAB

In a couple years, Ohio State wins by 45. Not this season.

WISCONSIN -18 UTEP

If you haven’t heard, The Professor has declared the 2012 campaign “The Season of Schadenfreude” for the entirely ignominious (look it up, KCKCKCK) starts by most-hated teams Wisconsin and Iowa. The Professor is a perfect 6-0 when picking against Bucky and Herky (and 7-2 when adding in equally loathsome Notre Dame), so Schadenfreude is clearly in season. Bite me, Bucky.

IOWA -14.5 Central Michigan

It’s the second Professor’s Schadenfreude Game of the Week, presented by Gasthof Zur Gemutlichkeit, so you know where this pick is headed. Hate you, Herky.

NORTHWESTERN -28 South Dakota

The Coyotes received exactly zero votes in The Sports Network FCS top-25 College Football Poll, so they have no business staying within four TDs of a B1G team. In other FCS Dakota-related news, North Dakota State is ranked No. 1, followed by North Dakota (RV) and South Dakota State (RV)

MICHIGAN STATE -33 Eastern Michigan

There’s nothing quite like a game against Eastern Michigan to make you feel better about yourself. To wit: Two weeks ago, Purdue lost 20-17 to Notre Dame. Last week, the Boilers trounced EMU 54-16. Last week, Sparty lost at home to Notre Dame. And look who is coming to town this week … the 0-3 Eagles.

NEBRASKA -31 Idaho State

I da ho? No, you da ho.

PENN STATE -7.5 Temple

The Penn State Misery Tour is on hiatus until further notice.

NOTRE DAME -4.5 Michigan

Chalk this up to a Schadenfreude pick, but I still think Michigan can pull off the upset here. Let’s get Denarded!

ILLLINOIS -2.5 Louisiana Tech

Less educated panelists (read: Miss Money) will look at this game and lock in Illinois. They’ll think, “How can a B1G team be favored by 2.5 points against a ‘Tech’ team that is neither from Virginia nor Georgia.” More educated panelists (read: The Professor) will know that the Bulldogs are averaging 56 points per game and the Illini are a pedestrian bunch at best. Go Tech!

MINNESOTA - Pick em -  Syracuse

My heart says Minnesota, but my head says Syracuse. In recent years, the heart has won out. Not this season, my friends. The Professor is now a fully tenured member of the faculty, so heart cannot play a factor in my research and analysis. If the Gophers were nervous about stopping a hurry-up, passing offense from Western Michigan, they’re going to be downright petrified to be finally facing a quality QB and a high-powered through-the-air offense. Prove me wrong, Goldy, prove me wrong.

WAKE FOREST -7 Army

It’s The Professor's Service Academy Game of the Week (SAGoW), brought to you by Armed Forces Network! The Deacons lost 52-0 to Florida State last week. Meanwhile, Army lost by 1 to Northern Illinois. What’s that mean? Probably nothing, but it’s the reasoning I’m using here.

GEORGIA TECH -14.5 Miami

Any time The Professor gets to pick in favor of a triple-option attack, he does it.

ALABAMA -49 Florida Atlantic

Let’s see. Alabama 52, Arkansas 0. Georgia 56, Florida Atlantic 20. Oh, and the Owls’ lone win was a 7-3 thiller over Wagner. All that equals … ROLL! TIDE! TURKEY!

LSU -20.5 AUBURN

I like the Tigers in this one.

OKLAHOMA -14 Kansas State

Seems like just a tad too many points to be giving Kansas State here. DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University!

SOUTH CAROLINA -10 Missouri

I like Columbia in this one.

UCLA -7.5 Oregon State

I think the Bruins win this game, but Oregon State has had two weeks to prepare for this one. Also, The Professor is a Beaver Believer.

FLORIDA STATE -14.5 Clemson

Ohhhhh, oh, oh-oh-oh! Ohhhhhh, oh, oh-oh-oh! Ohhhhh, oh, oh-ho-ho!

OREGON -23 Arizona

The Quack Attack keeps it rolling on their quest to get embarrassed by Alabama in the National Championship Game.

ARKANSAS – 7 Rutgers

It’s The Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game, brought to you by RO*TEL! [Analysis not provided]

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

2012 Pick 'Em Corner Standings (locks in parentheses)

1. Steve Stellar – 41-19 (3-0) – 47 pts

2. The Professor – 39-21 (2-1) – 43pts

3. The Host – 35-25 (1-2) – 37 pts

3. Lockrem’s Locks – 33-26 (2-1) - 37 pts

5. Jeff Leach – 34-25 (1-1) – 36 pts
5. The Cornerman – 32-28 (2-1) – 36 pts

7. KCKCKCK – 32-28 (1-2) – 34 pts

7. Money Traen – 30-29 (2-1) – 34 pts

9. C-Noth – 27-33 (2-1) – 31 pts

10. Wick to Click – 27-33 (0-2) – 27 pts

11. Strickly Cash – 26-34 (0-3) – 26 pts

12. The Veteran – 24-16 (0-2) – 24 pts

13. Miss Money – 19-21 (1-1) – 21 pts

14. Special G – 17-23 (1-1) – 19 pts
15. LFK – 6-12 (no lock ) 6 pts

The Professor in 2012 Pick 'Em Corner

Overall record: 39-21 (.650)

Statistically-Proven Locks: 2-1 (.667)

Games involving Big Ten teams: 24-12 (.667)

Games not involving Big Ten teams: 15-9 (.625)

Minnesota games: 2-1 (.667)

Schadenfreude Games (Wisconsin, Iowa, Notre Dame): 7-2 (.778)

Service Academy Games: 2-3 (.400)

Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Games: 2-1 (.667)

Roll Tide Turkey Games: 2-0 (1.000)