Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 12 Smart Money Picks

And now, for absolutely no reason other than I can't come up with something creative to open this edition of The Professor's Smart Money Picks, I give you the Pick ‘em Corner Panel School Loyalties (schools listed in order of importance to the panelists):

·         autoMATTic (defunct) – Minnesota, Arizona State

·         C-Noth – Wisconsin, Wisconsin-Milwaukee

·         Foreman’s Forecast (defunct) – Penn State, Wayzata HS, Minnesota

·         Jeff Leach - UW-Eau Claire, Palmer College of Chiropractic, Minnesota

·         KCKCKCK – Minnesota, Northwestern

·         Lockrem’s Locks – Montana, South Dakota State, Minnesota, NSIC schools, RMAC schools

·         Money Traen – Minnesota, Minnesota State-Mankato

·         Mrs. Money – Minnesota, Army, Minnesota Duluth, Iowa State, Iowa

·         Special G – Pepperdine, Phoenix-Sacramento, Minnesota

·         Steve Stellar – Towson, Miami, Georgetown, Minnesota, Delaware, Georgia, Pacific

·         Strickly Cash – Wisconsin, Neenah HS, WIAC schools, All other Division III schools

·         The Cornerman – Penn State, Minnesota, Portland State

·         The Host – Iowa, Alabama, Minnesota State-Mankato, Sioux Falls

·         The Professor – Minnesota, Army, Minnesota Duluth, Iowa State

·         The Veteran – Minnesota, Augsburg

·         Wick to Click – Minnesota, Illinois, Winona State

Without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

MICHIGAN STATE -7.5 Northwestern

DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University! I don’t understand this line at all. What has Sparty done to deserve to be a 7.5 favorite over a 7-3 Northwestern squad. “Well, they are playing at home,” you say. Uh huh. Michigan State is winless in the Big Ten at home. I know my cohorts say, “If a line looks too good to be true, it probably is.” I say, bah humbug. Take the Cats, the points and all the money you make all the way to the bank

MICHIGAN -16.5 Iowa

The tire fire that is Iowa football is in five-alarm mode right about now. And the fumes smell so good. The Professor says, “I love the smell of 2012 Iowa football in the morning. Smells like … Schadenfreude.”

PENN STATE -17.5 Indiana

One does not simply walk into Happy Valley after giving up 564 yards on the ground and expect to stay within 17.5 points of an angry Fighting Keisers team.

NEBRASKA -20 Minnesota

Do I believe Minnesota will improve their bowl chances from smoggy Houston to meh Dallas or even-more-meh Tempe with a win or two the next couple of weeks? No. Do I believe Nebraska will play awful in the first half again, allowing Minnesota to keep this one close? No. Do I believe the Gophers can stay within 20 points of a Huskers team with its eye set on a B1G title? No. So why am I picking Minnesota? Because I can’t in good conscience cheer for the Gophers to lose by 20 or more points.  

WISCONSIN -2.5 Ohio State

Ohio State is not Indiana. Bret Bielema has been sticking his chest out at all the Madison frat parties this week after running roughshod over the Hoosiers. That confidence will be his downfall this week. And also perhaps the coed he supplied those peppermint schnapps to in the hopes of currying favor with the young lass.

Purdue -6 ILLINOIS

See Iowa Tire Fire minus the Schadenfreude.

CINCNINNATI -6 Rutgers

It’s The Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game, brought to you by RO*TEL! [No analysis provided]

ARMY -3.5 Temple

Time for our weekly look-in at our troops stationed overseas … … troops wave to the camera.

MIAMI -6.5 South Florida

Earlier this season, South Florida lost by nine points to Temple, a 3.5 underdog to Army this week. That being said, never, ever trust Steve Stellar’s Hurricanes. You have been warned.

MISSISSIPPI STATE -6 Arkansas

Helloooooo, Tim Brewster Theorem.

USC -3.5 UCLA

The Trojans score a late touchdown to go up 34-31. Lane Kiffin inexplicably decides to go for two. The conversion fails. UCLA covers.

LSU -18.5 Ole Miss

Lightning round time.

OKLAHOMA STATE -10 Texas Tech

Lightning round again.

NOTRE DAME -23.5 Wake Forest

Wake Forest is awful, but Notre Dame is fully capable of playing down to its competition. See: narrow wins over Purdue, BYU and Pitt.

Utah State –3 LOUISIANA TECH

Huh?

Oklahoma -11 WEST VIRGINIA

Stick a fork in West F***ing Virginia, they’re done.

MISSOURI -4.5 Syracuse

In the Carrier Dome, take the Orange. In Columbia, don’t take the Orange. Simple. Also, Minnesota beat Syracuse.

Kansas State -12.5 BAYLOR

You scoffed when I told you Baylor’s passing offense would keep the Bears within 21.5 points last week at Oklahoma. Well, this ain’t Oklahoma.

OREGON -20.5 Stanford

Let’s Play Hockey columnist Jack Blatherwick loves the Ducks. And who am I to argue with Jack Blatherwick?

OREGON STATE -14.5 Cal

I no longer am suffering from Beaver Fever. Go Dirty Golden Bears.

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

2012 Pick ‘Em Corner Standings (locks in parentheses)

1. The Cornerman – 123-96-2 (9-2) – 141 pts

2. The Professor – 126-93-2 (7-4) – 140 pts

3. Lockrem’s Locks – 122-96-2 (7-3-1) - 136 pts

4. KCKCKCK – 121-98-2 (7-4) – 135 pts

5. The Host – 117-102-2 (5-6) – 127 pts

6. Steve Stellar – 110-109-2 (7-4) – 124 pts

7. Jeff Leach – 114-103-2 (4-5) – 122 pts

8. C-Noth – 109-110-2 (6-5) – 121 pts

9. Wick to Click – 100-119-2 (6-4) – 112 pts

10. Special G – 96-103-2 (3-7) – 102 pts

11. Mrs. Money –94-103-2 (3-6) – 100 pts

12. The Veteran – 89-88-2 (2-7) – 93 pts

13. Money Traen – 85-93-2 (3-6) – 91 pts

14. Strickly Cash – 81-100 (1-8) – 83 pts

15. Foreman’s Forecast – 6-12 (no lock ) 6 pts

16. autoMATTic –  0-0 (0-0) 0 pts

2012 Pick ‘Em Corner Points Per Week

1. The Cornerman – 12.8

2. The Professor – 12.7

3. Lockrem’s Locks – 12.4

4. KCKCK – 12.3

5. The Host – 11.5

6. Steve Stellar – 11.3

7. Jeff Leach – 11.1

8. C-Noth – 11.0

9. The Veteran – 10.3

10. Wick to Click – 10.2

10. Special G – 10.2

12. Money Traen – 10.1

13. Mrs. Money –10.0

14. Strickly Cash – 9.2

15. LFK – 6.0

16. auto-MATT-ic – 0.0

The Professor in 2012 Pick 'Em Corner

Overall record: 126-93-2 (.575)

Statistically-Proven Locks: 7-4 (.636)

Games involving Big Ten teams: 43-31 (.581)

Games not involving Big Ten teams: 83-62-2 (.571)

Minnesota games: 4-6 (.400)

Schadenfreude Games (Wisconsin, Iowa, Notre Dame): 17-13 (.567)

Service Academy Games: 4-9 (.308)

Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Games: 5-6 (.455)

Roll Tide Turkey Games: 5-4 (.556)

Tim Brewster Theorem Games: 2-2 (.500)