Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 10 Smart Money Picks

The Professor should be doing actual work right now. The Professor should be researching to become a more educated voter as Election Day is imminent. The Professor should also probably be at home with his sick two-year old instead of going through the motions at his place of employment.

The Professor should be doing a lot of things, but he’s not. He’s here for you, The Professor’s Pupils, providing the gambling industry’s premier college football prognostications. He’s here giving you illuminating and entertaining breakdowns of each of this week’s slate of games, while fellow competitors merely e-mail their picks directly to Pick ‘Em Corner headquarters.

Sure, The Cornerman is tied with The Professor for the Pick ‘Em Corner lead, but what service is The Cornerman providing you, the degenerate gambler, by not making his picks public? Likewise, why trust third-place Lockrem’s Locks his picks are made outside the college football world in a godforsaken place like Bumbleshoot, South Dakota? How informed can he possibly be? And how can you trust KCKCKCK? No, really, can he be trusted? And what about The Host? He goes by The Host as he is supposed to actually, you know, host Pick ‘Em Corner. Instead, in the season’s first live show, he pulled a vintage Sanderfeldian move and invented an excuse for not showing up, pushing hosting duties to the honorable Steve Stellar.

Week in and week out, The Professor makes his picks public. He’s in a Big Ten market. He’s accountable. He actually attends live broadcasts of Pick ‘Em Corner. Can the same be said for the rest of my fellow prognosticators? No. Well, aside from Steve Stellar, of course. He of the sub-.500 record.

Without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

Michigan -12.5 MINNESOTA

With memories of 58-0 still in their minds and renewed confidence under Philip Nelson, the Gophers put the Wolverines on upset alert, only to have their Australian punter fumble a snap in the end zone to give Michigan a clinching TD. THIS IS … GOLDEN! GOPHER! FOOTBALL!

Penn State -3.5 PURDUE

When your AD issues a statement of support for your football program mid-season, you know things aren’t going all that well. The Fighting Keisers roll. In fact, DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University!

OHIO STATE -27.5 Illinois

Tim Beckman takes over the mantle left by Tim Brewster as the Big Ten’s Best Backdoor Cover Coach.

INDIANA -1.5 Iowa

I have absolutely zero faith that the Hoosiers can win their first back-to-back Big Ten games since 2007, but schadenfreude wins out again. Plus, it’s always amusing to hear Miss Money explain how sullen her Hawkeye hubby is after his beloved Iowa loses another game. (Addendum: Shouldn’t Miss Money be given her proper title – Mrs. Money – now that she had that expedited wedding earlier this summer?)

Nebraska -2 MICHIGAN STATE

The Professor would like to thank Michigan State for finally showing up for a game in which I picked you to win and/or cover. Now that you've dispatched the Evil Red Menace, I have no need for you. Go Huskers.

FLORIDA -17 Missouri

The Gators are in full hangover mode after saying sayonara to their SEC Eastern Division championship with an awful showing against Georgia. I’m not under any delusions that Florida loses a second straight game, but the Tigers keep it close.

Oklahoma -11.5 IOWA STATE

The Cyclones lost by 11 to Texas Tech and six to Kansas State – both at home. Sounds to me like they play good teams tough at home. Sorry, Teeks.

Texas A&M -7 MISSISSIPPI STATE

I am looking to get to .500 in Tim Brewster Theorem games here. The Theorem states that any game involving TREMENDOUS WIN FIGHT TRY Mississippi State assistant coach Tim Brewster should be picked in favor of BULLDOG NATION’s opponent when the spread seems reasonable if it involved any other coach. Therefore, go Aggies!

Air Force -7.5 ARMY

When General of the Army George C. Marshall Chief of Staff during World War II said, "I want an officer for a secret and dangerous mission,” he didn’t want a member of the Chair Force. No, he said, “ I want a West Point football player."

Stanford -27.5 COLORADO

And Colorado rears its ugly head again. How many times am I going to be burned by a huge spread offered up by a horrendous Buffs team? Surely, it ends this week … right?

WEST VIRGINIA -6.5 TCU

The Mountaineers haven’t played since back-to-back shellackings by Texas Tech and Kansas State. They’ll be hungry, rested and ready for a sneaky-good TCU team. Meanwhile, the Horned Frogs have given up 92 points in the last two weeks. Hellooooo, shootout in Morgantown.

NOTRE DAME -16.5 Pittsburgh

You know what Admiral Ackbar said. Look it up.

TEXAS TECH -7.5 Texas

The Longhorns only won by four at Kansas last week. Kansas! The 1-7 team with losses to Rice and Northern Illinois.

GEORGIA -14 Ole Miss

Admiral Ackbar again.

Clemson -13 DUKE

It’s The Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game, brought to you by RO*TEL! Clemson lost by 12 at Florida State. Duke lost by 41 at Florida State. Any questions?

Oregon -7.5 USC

The Quack Attack keeps it rolling on their quest to get embarrassed by Alabama in the National Championship Game. Yes, I’m recycling bits from past weeks. Also, Lane Kiffin sucks.

KANSAS STATE -10 Oklahoma State

The Collin Klein Heisman Campaign notches another big win and Kansas State keeps its undefeated season going in a raucous atmosphere at night in Manhattan.

Alabama -9.5 LSU

If I didn’t provide my earliest-ever Lock of the Week, I’d do it here. Alabama is an NFL team masquerading as a SEC squad. LSU is merely an SEC team.

BOISE STATE -13.5 San Diego State

Courtesy of Darren “Doogie” Wolfson, a quote from former Gopher interim coach Jeff Horton: "We play Boise for 1st place this Saturday. All good here in San Diego... 75 everyday and cold at night... about 60-65!!!!!!” Coach Horton will always hold a special place in The Professor’s heart for his passion and ability to make us thank the heavens above that Tim Brewster was fired midseason.

OREGON STATE -4 Arizona State

The Professor is no longer a Beaver Believer after locking in Oregon State last week. Go team that, upon first glance, looks exactly like the Gophers!

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

2012 Pick ‘Em Corner Standings (locks in parentheses)

1. The Professor – 105-76 (5-4) – 115 pts

1. The Cornerman – 101-80 (7-2) – 115 pts

3. Lockrem’s Locks – 100-80 (6-3) - 112 pts

4. KCKCK – 95-86 (6-3) – 107 pts

5. The Host – 98-83 (4-5) – 106 pts

6. Jeff Leach – 98-85 (3-5) – 104 pts

7. Steve Stellar – 89-92 (6-3) – 101 pts

8. C-Noth – 83-98 (6-3) – 95 pts

9. Wick to Click – 82-99 (5-3) – 92 pts

10. The Veteran – 82-78 (1-7) – 84 pts

10. Special G – 78-83 (2-6) – 84 pts

12. Strickly Cash – 81-100 (1-8) – 83 pts

13. Mrs. Money –73-89 (2-5) – 77 pts

14. Money Traen – 65-75 (3-4) – 71 pts

15. LFK – 6-12 (no lock ) 6 pts

16. auto-MATT-ic – 0-0 (0-0) – 0 pts

2012 Pick ‘Em Corner Points Per Week

1. The Professor – 12.78

1. The Cornerman – 12.78

3. Lockrem’s Locks – 12.44

4. KCKCK – 11.89

5. The Host – 11.78

6. Jeff Leach – 11.55

7. Steve Stellar – 11.22

8. C-Noth – 10.55

9. The Veteran – 10.5

9. Special G – 10.5

11. Money Traen – 10.14

12. Wick to Click – 10.22

13. Mrs. Money –9.63

14. Strickly Cash – 9.22

15. LFK – 6.0

16. auto-MATT-ic – 0.0

The Professor in 2012 Pick 'Em Corner

Overall record: 105-76 (.580)

Statistically-Proven Locks: 5-4 (.556)

Games involving Big Ten teams: 37-27 (.578)

Games not involving Big Ten teams: 68-49 (.581)

Minnesota games: 3-5 (.375)

Schadenfreude Games (Wisconsin, Iowa, Notre Dame): 13-12 (.520)

Service Academy Games: 3-8 (.273)

Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Games: 4-5 (.444)

Roll Tide Turkey Games: 5-2 (.714)

Tim Brewster Theorem Games: 1-2 (.333)