Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 3 Smart Money Picks

The Professor would like to apologize for failing to show up last week for his lecture at Pick 'Em Corner. The Professor's Pupils deserve better. Then again, perhaps it was foreshadowing as The Professor's favorite college football team also failed to show up last week.

On to week 3 at Pick 'Em Corner. Special G (why is he called that, by the way?) has stormed out of the gate with a 20-9-2 picks record through two weeks. Expect that to come crashing down this week as overconfidence has set in. According to a source inside the Gopher Athletic Communications office - let's call her S. Berhow...no, no...that's too obvious...let's call her Sara B. - Special G has been impossible to deal with this week at his palatial estate in Rosemount. Sara B. says that Special G is demanding she refer to him as Special G and that he is close to losing his day job at Circuit City as his supervisors are getting tired of his boasting of just how good of a handicapper he is.

Also of note through two weeks is Steve Stellar's 1-11-1 record on locks since the start of the 2009 season; LFK's six-point outing last week - the lowest point total for a Penn State alum since The Cornerman put up four points in 2009's Week 6; Miss Money, in her 2010 debut, picking South Dakota as her lock; and autoMATTic and Lockrem's Locks failing to provide picks for the second straight week.

The Professor, meanwhile, just keeps successfully educating his Pupils with back-to-back 10-point weeks. Sure, I missed on my lock, but The Professor isn't perfect. No, he's just 10-3 on his locks since the start of the 2009 season. Special G may look strong now, and The Host and KCKCKCK have shown they haven't lost a step despite increasing senility, but if you're looking for consistency, look no further than the two-time defending Pick 'Em Corner Big Ten Regular Season Handicapping Champion...The Professor.

Without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by the City of Chanhassen.


#19 GEORGIA -2.5 #15 Arkansas
Meh. It's a game between two SEC also-rans. The Professor doesn't claim to be an SEC expert by any means. Unlike most of my colleagues in the SEC, I don't look at my cousins as potential lovers and I don't have a general mistrust of anyone from north of the Mason-Dixon Line. That being said, I do have some quality contacts in the south. Contacts like former Arkansas coach Lou Holtz. Lou went on a rant on just how much he despises the smug Mark May before giving me a spittle bath when he said, "Woooooo! Pig! Sooie!" Love the passion, Lou. Go Hogs.



MICHIGAN -29 Massachusetts
Some experts out there will tell you to expect a short day for Michigan QB Denard Robinson after a pair of back-to-back weeks. They'll cite his 430 yards on 62 attempts in just two games as a reason why RichRod will look to rest his suddenly Heisman hopeful signal caller. They'll say Michigan needs to limit Robinson's carries to save him for the Big Ten season. They're wrong. RichRod is trying to bring Michigan back to prominence, in addition to trying to restore his reputation, and Robinson is his golden child. Also, since when did the Michigan staff care about resting their players? (See: NCAA violations for excessive practices) Go Blue.


#2 OHIO STATE -30.5 Ohio
The Professor knows absolutely nothing about Ohio aside from their respected sports management school and their shocking 2000 win over the Goof Troop. Do the Bobcats still run the quirky offense that befuddled Glen Mason and Friends at the Metrodome? Anyone? It really doesn't matter. The Buckeye defense could certainly pitch a shutout here and Terrelle Pryor and the OSU offense are getting better each week. Go Bucks.


#14 PENN STATE -21 Kent State
The Professor would defer this game's analysis to Penn State alum and fellow Pick 'Em Corner panelist LFK, but she is still frothing at the mouth for the performance the Fighting Keisers put forth last week at 'Bama. Also, LFK had a six-point week as noted above. I then tried talking to the panel's other PSU alum, The Cornerman, but all I got was hyperbole and exaggeration. Instead, I talked to noted Big Ten blogger Adam Rittenberg. He told me to expect a big day from Nits running back Evan Royster to the tune of 140 yards. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. The Golden Flashes own the nation's top-ranked run defense and the Penn State offense is far from a fine-tuned unit. Of course, the Fighting Keisers will win, but as Lee Corso says, "Closer than the experts think." Go Flashes.


ILLINOIS -7 No. Illinois
As explained in the syllabus in week 1, The Professor uses a mathematical process he created to decide games involving Illinois. The Ron Zook Postulate states that any game involving noted waterskiing head coach Ron Zook should be picked in favor of the Fighting Illini's opponent when the spread seems reasonable if it involved any other coach. This spread seems reasonable until you see that the NIU offense struggled to get by the North Dakota Fighting [redacteds]. That right there is enough to trump The Ron Zook Postulate. It's rare when this happens, so this is actually a game to watch. Go Fighting Wickstroms.


PURDUE -17 Ball State
Here's my rationale for this pick: Liberty 27, Ball State 23. Boiler Up.


#18 FLORIDA ST. -10 #24 byu
It's the 2010 season debut of the Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game, brought to you by The Host and RO*TEL. As a rule, no analysis is provided for the DAOLTTIACABTG?G.


usc -12 MINNESOTA
Hoo boy, where to start? I know. DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American University! A word to The Professor's Pupils here: Any of my fellow panelists who do not pick USC and fail to make this their lock of the week cannot be trusted. Kudos to Vose (where is his catchy nickname, Host?) for seeing the light here. There are so many ways to go with this one, but coaching is the most obvious. As evidenced in the attached photo, coaching has been just a slight issue for the Gophers. Sure, Timmy B has had this game circled on his calendar for some time, but circle or not, Brew can't coach his way out of a wet paper bag. I am sick and tired of hearing about the increase in talent in the Gopher program since Brewster arrived. This actual Brewster comment makes my want to hurl: "The team we have on the field today ... is light years ahead of where we were three years ago. Light years." If that quote isn't enough of a justification to fire Brewster, I don't know what is. I mean, Brewster is basically saying, "Look at all the talent we have on this team now. Look at all the raw athleticism and football ability that I have brought in over the past three years. Of course, we don't know the first thing about how to actually coach these more talented players. The previous staff was filled with qualified coaches who could coax as much as possible out of that limited talent. Us? Not so much. Light years." Meanwhile, on the other sideline, we have hometown boy Lane Kiffin. Passed over for the job that Brewster got, Kiffin says he harbors no ill will toward the Minnesota program and revenge won't play a role in this game. Pardon me while I guffaw and call BS. Kiffin is a world class douchebag who would like nothing more than to rub Joel Maturi's nose in his godawful decision to hire a used car salesman as head football coach. Don't believe a word Kiffin says. This game is personal for him and unlike his counterpart across the field, his program actually has coaches who know how to coach. Oh, and the team USC has on the field today is light years ahead of where Minnesota will ever be. Light years. Go Trojans.


#1 Alabama -23 DUKE (RTT GOW)
Let me get this straight. Alabama beats up on San Jose State and the Fighting Keisers to the tune of a combined score of 72-6. Meanwhile, Duke loses 54-48 to Wake Forest a week after allowing 27 points to something called Elon. And I'm supposed to expect the Dukies to stay within 23 of the Tide? This has trap written all over it, but I'm not going to bite. Alabama is far too good on both sides of the ball and Duke is far too Duke. Roll. Tide. Turkey.


#7 OKLAHOMA -17.5 Air Force (SERVICE GOW)
Contractually, I'm obligated to pick the service academy in The Professor's Service Academy Game of the Week (SAGoW), brought to you by Armed Forces Network. However, the contract also states that when the service academy goes loses back-to-back weeks agains the spread as Navy and Army have done to start the season, The Professor is given carte blanche for the SAGoW. We all know The Professor enjoys singing the fight songs for the service academies each week. They're so catchy. Much better than when The Host sings that annoying Ramblin' Wreck diddy during Georgia Tech games. Now, as you see, I'm going against my trend and picking the non-service academy here. So, no singing, right? Wrong. Teeks, this is for you. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-klahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain!"



#11 WISCONSIN -14 Arizona State
Schadenfreude 2, Wisconsin 0. That's right. Two weeks. Two games where Bucky has failed to cover. Now, I know I'm slightly misusing the term "schadenfreude" here as Wisco has won both games, but as a long-suffering Gopher fan, I have to take Badger failings where I can get them. Devils!



Indiana -12 WESTERN KENTUCKY
Hoosiers. Hilltoppers. You want excitement? You got it in the nonconference portion of the Indiana schedule.


Northwestern -6.5 RICE
Look! Another Northwestern game against a fellow acclaimed academic institution! Catch the fever!


MICHIGAN ST -3.5 Notre Dame
Stay far, far away from this game. This one is really a crapshoot. The oddsmakers are basically throwing their hands up here and just giving the Spartans the nod with the home field advantage. This game has shootout written all over it. Both defenses are suspect and both offenses can be dangerous. In a game like this, trying to crunch the numbers won't help. It's paralysis by analysis. So, how to pick? With your heart, that's how. And my heart has no place for the Irish (the football team, not the people). Go Sparty.


#10 Iowa -1.5 #23 ARIZONA
I really think this is the Big Ten's year. Ohio State looks to be a bona fide national title contender. Wisconsin is capable of another 10-win season. Michigan looks to be regaining its place among the conference elite. Michigan State is a dangerous team just waiting to get over the hump. Penn State is still Penn State despite their scared performance at Alabama. Northwestern always gets better as the year goes on. And Iowa is as solid a team as you'll find in the country. Let's just forget about Indiana, Illinois, Purdue and Minnesota, shall we? Meanwhile, the Pac-10 will claim they're as strong and deep as ever with four teams in the top 25. Poppycock, I say. While the SEC calls the Big Ten is slow, the Big Ten can call the Pac-10 soft. And soft is what a very good Arizona team will look like against a prototypical Big Ten team in Iowa. The Wildcats have a great offense, but the Iowa defense is just too good to let Arizona light up the field and scoreboard. Meanwhile, Arizona's defense is somewhat inexperienced, while Iowa's offense will just wear you down with the tried-and-true "three yards and a cloud of dust" strategy that has carried the Big Ten for years. Take the Hawkeyes in what promises to be the game of the week.

Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.

2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Total Points
1. Special G 20-9-2 (24 pts.)
2. The Host 17-12-2 (21)
3. The Professor 18-11-2 (20)
3. KCKCKCK 18-11-2 (20)
5. Steve Stellar 19-10-2 (19)
6. The Veteran 16-13-2 (18)
6. Strickly Cash 16-13-2 (18)
6. The Cornerman 14-15-2 (18)
9. C-Noth 10-19-2 (14)
10. LFK 13-16-2 (13)
11. Vose 9-5-2 (9)
12. Miss Money 6-9-0 (8)
12. Money Traen 6-8-2 (8)

2010 Pick 'Em Corner Standings - Points Per Week (Locks)
1. Special G 12.0 (2-0)
2. The Host 10.5 (2-0)
3. The Professor 10.0 (1-1)
3. KCKCKCK 10.0 (1-1)
5. Steve Stellar 9.5 (0-2)
6. The Veteran 9.0 (1-1)
6. Strickly Cash 9.0 (1-1)
6. The Cornerman 9.0 (2-0
6. Vose 9.0 (0-1)
10. Miss Money 8.0 (1-0)
10. Money Traen 8.0 (1-0)
12. C-Noth 7.0 (2-0)
13. LFK 6.5 (0-2)