Thursday, July 26, 2007

Assistant Tennis Coach Keeps Calling People "You Bitch"

University of Minnesota assistant men's tennis coach Urban Ljubic (Ljubljana, Slovenia) has found himself embroiled in a controversy stemming from complaints that the third-year member of the Golden Gopher staff has been calling people "you bitch." Numerous members of the U of M Intercollegiate Athletics Department, the United States Tennis Association (USTA) Northern Section and prospective student-athletes have reported that, for some reason, Ljubic chooses to use the insult immediately upon introducing himself.

Since joining the Golden Gophers prior to the 2006-07 season, Ljubic has managed to alienate several members of the athletic department with his abusive language.

"Urban has been here since last fall and he hasn't stopped saying 'you bitch' to me," U of M head women's tennis coach Tyler Thomson (Bismarck, N.D.) said. "I think he's a sociopath."

"From what I hear, Urban is a great tennis coach and a better person, but I'm having a hard time dealing with the disrespecful speech," Baseline Tennis Center director John Pratt said. "Maybe it's part of the Slovenian culture or something to say 'you bitch' to people upon meeting them. Maybe it's the language barrier. I don't know. What I do know is I didn't have to endure this abuse when Luciano (Battaglini of Brazil) came to the U."

According to complaints received by Mr. Heavyfoot, Ljubic's hurtful language has spread beyond the walls of the Bierman Field Athletic Building. The greater tennis community has also felt the wrath of the former University of Denver tennis standout's disparaging introductions.

"I don't know what his problem is," USTA Northern official Tim Kurtt (St. Paul, Minn.) said. "I introduced myself to him shortly before the Big Ten Championship this past April and he called me 'you bitch.' As a tournament referee for a lot of events, I've been called a lot of things in the heat of the moment, but this was during what I thought was a friendly introduction. Listen, Urban. I was a linesman at Wimbledon this year. No one calls me a bitch."

Tennis recruiting services have reported that Ljubic's inflammatory introductions are negatively impacting head coach Geoff Young's success in landing prospective Division I tennis players. As recruiting is one of Ljubic's primary duties as an assistant coach, student-athletes in the U.S. and beyond are constantly having to deal with his derisive talk.

"Geoff and Urban have been recruiting me for some time now," an anonymous high school tennis player said. "Urban is usually the one to call me. I answer the phone and it's always 'Hi. It's Urban, you bitch.' I never even get his last name. I have no idea why I still have Minnesota on my short list."

Rumors indicate that when pronounced in his native Slovenian language, Ljubic's name sounds like the phrase 'you bitch.' Those rumors remain unconfirmed.

When reached for comment at his home by Mr. Heavyfoot reporters, Ljubic introduced himself by saying, "Nice to meet you. My name is Urban, you bitch."

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

How Not to Rope Swing

The title really speaks for itself for these videos.

http://view.break.com/334647 - Watch more free videos

Monday, July 23, 2007

This Toddler Knows More About Hockey Than Doug Woog


We apologize for our extended absence. Mr. and Mrs. Heavyfoot took a much-needed trip up north as a last-hurrah vacation before Baby Heavyfoot arrives on or about November 4. Speaking of Baby Heavyfoot, the above video is a small preview of what our child will likely be like - just replace the Vancouver Canucks with the Golden Gopher hockey team.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Down Goes Grandma!


We've given you women falling and suffering whiplash, a young man getting nailed by a golf ball, and kids getting hit by exercise balls, basketballs and breakdancers. The logical progression of this is the above video of a sweet old lady getting knocked out by a soccer ball, courtesy of the foot of one Tony Donatelli.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Because You Can Never Have Enough Goran Ivanisevic, We Give You Two Goran Ivanisevic Videos


Or maybe it's Ivaninevic.


Tracy Morgan isn't the only person interested in impregnating somebody apparently.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Tracy Morgan Funnier When Drunk/High


We apologize for our recent lack of entries, but we've spent the better part of the last two days outside catching softballs for the U of M softball camp. It's a rough life, but someone has to catch erratic junior high pitchers who seem to enjoy bouncing softballs in the dirt and directly into your shin.

To make up for our relative absence, we bring you former SNL'er Tracy Morgan who is clearly a lot funnier when under the influence of some mind-altering substance. "Ladies! My Mercedes! I'm the oo-chow!"

Friday, July 6, 2007

Mr. Heavyfoot's Favorite Magician: The Amazing Jonathan


It's a slow news day in the Heavyfoot community (read: we're too lazy to write), so we bring you the magical comedic stylings of The Amazing Jonathan. Although he has his own show in Vegas, we're pretty sure most of you have not heard of him. As a bonus, in this first video, he's introduced by Alan Thicke. Alan Thicke!

Thursday, July 5, 2007

A Pair of Disappearing Women

These classic videos really need no introduction.


Monday, July 2, 2007

Ping-Ping-Ping! Pow! Splash!


http://view.break.com/323833 - Watch more free videos
Golf club, check. Golf balls, check. Dock on the lake with multiple poles, check. Friends watching nearby and filming, check. A recipe for injury-related hilarity.

There was just no way this was going to work out well. Wait for it...wait for it...

Maybe that's why it's called Ping.

Introducing Cooper, The Kinda Amazing Frisbee Dog


We've already received enough criticism about no new updates over the weekend. Well, pthhbbtt, it was 80 and sunny all weekend. Though occasionally lazy, we're all about enjoying the outdoors when the Minnesota weather allows. Enjoying such things as throwing frisbees with our dog, Cooper. Mr. Heavyfoot is proud to introduce Cooper, The Kinda Amazing Frisbee Dog.


More videos of Cooper, The Kinda Amazing Frisbee Dog, here.