Pick 'Em Corner - The Professor's Week 11 Smart Money Picks
Leading Pick ‘Em Corner for the vast majority of the 2012
season, The Professor has continued to hold his title as the premier college
football prognosticator in the nation. But let’s put into context just how
impressive The Professor’s performance has been this year.
Name me another
member of Pick ‘Em Corner who is beholden to always picking a certain way, week
in and week out. You can’t. Every week, The Professor picks against hateful
institutions Wisconsin, Iowa and Notre Dame, all in the interest of
Schadenfreude.
Likewise, The
Professor is under contract to always select Army, Navy or Air Force in The
Professor's Service Academy Game of the Week (SAGoW), brought to you by Armed
Forces Network.
Likewise, The Professor
always employs the Tim Brewster Theorem in games involving TREMENDOUS
Mississippi State assistant coach Tim Brewster should be picked in favor of
BULLDOG NATION’s opponent when the spread seems reasonable if it involved any
other coach.
No other Pick ‘Em
Corner panelist is beholden to such contracts and theorems, and yet has been as
overwhelmingly successful as The Professor, proving once and again that The
Professor is the prognosticator to trust.
Without further ado, sit up straight, sharpen
your pencils and enjoy the lecture, for these are The Professor's Smart Money
Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.
Wisconsin -7 INDIANA
This is
the ultimate Schadenfreude game what with the wacky situation in the Leaders Division
this season. If the Hoosiers
win, they will be tied for the division lead among eligible teams and they will
hold the tiebreaker over the Badgers by virtue of the win. Both teams would be
3-3, while Indiana would be 5-5 overall. If both teams then lost their final
two Big Ten games, Indiana would go to the conference title game despite having
a 3-5 record in the conference and a 5-7 record overall -- one win shy of bowl
eligibility. There is absolutely no reason to cheer
for Wisconsin in this game if you truly enjoy unintentional comedy.
MICHIGAN -11.5 Northwestern
The
bye week for Northwestern will help keep this one close.
IOWA -5 Purdue
My
selection here is a reminder of the contracts I’ve signed. Despite my head
telling me Iowa will roll in this game, my contract with Gasthof zur
Gemutlichkeit requires me to select the Boilermakers in the interest of
Schadenfreude.
NEBRASKA -7.5 Penn State
Vegas
is giving far too many points for a darn good Penn State team. The oddsmakers
apparently still think this is the same Nittany Lion team that opened with
losses to Ohio and Virginia, not the team that is 4-1 in the Big Ten.
Minnesota -3.5 ILLINOIS
This game will
define Minnesota’s season. Win and the Gophers are bowl eligible and able to
say the program is going in the right direction. Lose and pray for a miracle in
Lincoln or an unlikely win at home against Michigan State. That sense of
urgency will push Minnesota to the win here and the Meineke Car Care Bowl. DO
YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK!
EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR-PLUNK! It's The Professor's
Statistically-Proven Lock of the Week, brought to you by National American
University!
TROY –pick em- Navy
The Professor is
3-8 in Service Academy Games … and still leading Pick ‘Em Corner. Enough said.
Louisville -3 SYRACUSE
It’s The Does Anybody Outside the Locales of
the Two Teams Involved Actually Care About This Game? Game, brought to you by
RO*TEL! [No analysis provided]
TEXAS -10.5 Iowa State
Texas seems to be
turning the corner, while the Cyclones are 1-3 in the last four weeks. Once
again, however, The Professor’s allegiances win out.
VIRGINIA -1 Miami
I don’t trust either
of these teams, so I’m just picking the home squad and hoping I’m right.
SOUTH CAROLINA
-14 Arkansas
Seems like too
many points for a Hogs team that always plays Cocky close. Plus, John L. Smith.
STANFORD -4 Oregon State
Oregon State got
back on track against a tough Arizona State team last week and will move to 4-1
on the road in the Pac 12 this season.
USC -9 Arizona State
The fully
inflated footballs will keep the Sun Devils in this game until the fourth
quarter when Lane Kiffin finds yet another way to cheat and cover.
OKLAHOMA STATE
-7.5 West Virginia
West Virginia is
reeling after three straight losses, so desperation dictates that they keep
this one close in Stillwater.
OKLAHOMA -21.5 Baylor
That’s just too
many points to give a team with the top-ranked passing offense in the nation.
ALABAMA -14 Texas A&M
The Host couldn’t
be more wrong with his locking in of the Aggies in this one. Every national
championship contender has to sweat out at least one close game to make it to
the promised land. That game was last week for Alabama. After seeing their
title hopes almost slip away, the Tide come into this game refocused and ready
to give the Aggies a taste of what the top of the SEC is like. Plus, The Host
is a full 12 points behind The Professor. Why trust him?
Kansas State -7.5 TCU
The Collin Klein Heisman Campaign notches
another big win and Kansas State keeps its undefeated season going in a raucous
atmosphere at night in Fort Worth.
Georgia -16 AUBURN
The Professor is
having SEC/Big 12 fatigue. Go Dogs, I guess.
LSU -14.5 Mississippi State
Helloooooo, Tim
Brewster Theorem.
NOTRE DAME -18.5 Boston College
Boston College
brings their hard hat lunch pail to the field and makes it a long day for the
Irish. Also, Schadenfreude.
OREGON -28 CAL
The Quack Attack keeps it rolling on their
quest to get embarrassed by Alabama in the National Championship Game. Yes, I’m
recycling bits from past weeks. Also, Jeff Tedford sucks.
Thus concludes The Professor's Smart Money
Picks, brought to you by The City of Chanhassen.
2012
Pick ‘Em Corner Standings (locks in parentheses)
1. The
Professor – 116-85 (6-4) – 128 pts
1. The Cornerman – 112-89 (8-2) – 128 pts
3. Lockrem’s Locks – 113-87 (7-3) - 127 pts
4. KCKCKCK – 108-93 (6-4) – 120 pts
5. The Host – 108-93 (4-6) – 116 pts
6. Jeff Leach – 105-94 (3-5) – 111 pts
6. Steve Stellar – 99-102 (6-4) – 111 pts
8. C-Noth – 97-104 (6-4) – 109 pts
9. Wick to Click – 94-107 (6-3) – 106 pts
10. The Veteran – 82-78 (1-7) – 84 pts
11. Mrs. Money –85-97 (3-5) – 91 pts
12. Special G – 86-95 (2-7) – 90 pts
13. Strickly Cash – 81-100 (1-8) – 83 pts
14. Money Traen – 75-85 (3-5) – 81 pts
15. LFK – 6-12 (no lock ) 6 pts
16. auto-MATT-ic – 0.0
2012
Pick ‘Em Corner Points Per Week
1. The
Professor – 12.8
1. The Cornerman – 12.8
3. Lockrem’s Locks – 12.7
4. KCKCK – 12.0
5. The Host – 11.6
6. Jeff Leach – 11.1
6. Steve Stellar – 11.1
8. C-Noth – 10.9
9. Wick to Click – 10.6
10. The Veteran – 10.5
11. Money Traen – 10.13
12. Mrs. Money –10.11
13. Special G – 10.0
14. Strickly Cash – 9.22
15. LFK – 6.0
16. auto-MATT-ic – 0.0
The
Professor in 2012 Pick 'Em Corner
Overall record: 116-85 (.577)
Statistically-Proven Locks: 6-4 (.600)
Games involving Big Ten teams: 40-29 (.580)
Games not involving Big Ten teams: 76-56 (.576)
Minnesota games: 3-6 (.333)
Schadenfreude Games (Wisconsin, Iowa, Notre Dame): 15-12
(.556)
Service Academy Games: 4-8 (.333)
Does Anybody Outside the Locales of the Two Teams
Involved Actually Care About This Game? Games: 5-5 (.500)
Roll Tide Turkey Games: 5-3 (.625)
Tim Brewster Theorem Games: 1-2 (.333)
