We apologize for our extended absence. Mr. and Mrs. Heavyfoot took a much-needed trip up north as a last-hurrah vacation before Baby Heavyfoot arrives on or about November 4. Speaking of Baby Heavyfoot, the above video is a small preview of what our child will likely be like - just replace the Vancouver Canucks with the Golden Gopher hockey team.
We've given you women falling and suffering whiplash, a young man getting nailed by a golf ball, and kids getting hit by exercise balls, basketballs and breakdancers. The logical progression of this is the above video of a sweet old lady getting knocked out by a soccer ball, courtesy of the foot of one Tony Donatelli.
Or maybe it's Ivaninevic.
Tracy Morgan isn't the only person interested in impregnating somebody apparently.
We apologize for our recent lack of entries, but we've spent the better part of the last two days outside catching softballs for the U of M softball camp. It's a rough life, but someone has to catch erratic junior high pitchers who seem to enjoy bouncing softballs in the dirt and directly into your shin.
To make up for our relative absence, we bring you former SNL'er Tracy Morgan who is clearly a lot funnier when under the influence of some mind-altering substance. "Ladies! My Mercedes! I'm the oo-chow!"
It's a slow news day in the Heavyfoot community (read: we're too lazy to write), so we bring you the magical comedic stylings of The Amazing Jonathan. Although he has his own show in Vegas, we're pretty sure most of you have not heard of him. As a bonus, in this first video, he's introduced by Alan Thicke. Alan Thicke!
http://view.break.com/323833 - Watch more free videos
Golf club, check. Golf balls, check. Dock on the lake with multiple poles, check. Friends watching nearby and filming, check. A recipe for injury-related hilarity.
There was just no way this was going to work out well. Wait for it...wait for it...
Maybe that's why it's called Ping.
We've already received enough criticism about no new updates over the weekend. Well, pthhbbtt, it was 80 and sunny all weekend. Though occasionally lazy, we're all about enjoying the outdoors when the Minnesota weather allows. Enjoying such things as throwing frisbees with our dog, Cooper. Mr. Heavyfoot is proud to introduce Cooper, The Kinda Amazing Frisbee Dog.
More videos of Cooper, The Kinda Amazing Frisbee Dog, here.
It's NBA Draft night and we couldn't be less excited. We'd be exceptionally more excited if the guys in the above video were back again this year to heckle Stephen A. Smith.
"I am Stephen A. Smith and these cheese doodles are delicious."
"Quite frankly, I think if you gave me some more cheese doodles, I might have another one."
"I don't know what I'm going to say, but it's going to be so much more important than this."
"Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, SUCKS!"
"Everything I say is important. I'm Stephen A. Smith."
In other NBA Draft-related news: 
Fourth Annual KC's Draft Party Set For Jamestown Villas on Thursday
The Royal Order of KC's Draft Party has announced the Fourth Annual KC's Draft Party on Thursday, June 28, at the Jamestown Villas Townhouse Complex in Eden Prairie, Minn. Festivities will begin at 6 p.m. at 18117 Settlers Way. Scheduled to appear are draft experts 'The Veteran', 'The Professor', 'Corner Man', and 'Steve Stellar'.
"We're excited about the lineup we've put together for the 2007 Party," KC's Draft Party Sergeant at Arms Shane Sandersfeld said. "We know our audience is familiar with many of these experts from 'Pick 'Em Corner' during the college football season and we expect them to bring the same amount of consistent mediocrity to the Draft Party."
All those attending the draft will be contacted to contribute sustenance or libations to the Party. KC's famous burgers will be served as well as K-Hill's scrumptous dessert bars. Please contact the Royal Order for Draft Party favorites and to RSVP.
Before we bring you the latest update on the goings-on of Boom Goes the Dynamite softball (they finally won!), we thought we'd introduce you to Joseph, a beat boxer from the French version of American Idol - Nouvelle Star.
Not much to say about Joseph other than we tried to duplicate just a small portion of his routine and ended up drooling all over our shirt.
